Wednesday, December 29, 2004

Keepin' you posted...

Do you remember the penis enlargement pill company called SizeMax that I was suing for using my face in their ads that ran in FHM, Maxim, Iron Man, etc.?

http://www.bobbibillard.com/media/copyright/lawsuit.jpg

Well... the case finally went to court and I won! Not surprising really, I knew I would. You can't just put somebody's face in your ad without their permission and expect to get away with it. So... guess how much the courts awarded me?! My judgement was for over $16 million dollars! Can you believe that? My lawyer is framing my judgement and they are sending it to me. I will post a photo for you guys when I receive it. The problem is, the judgement is probably the only paper I will ever get my purty lil' hands on. :( And I definitely would prefer the green kind. Ya know?

The story is kind of long and involved, but the two guys that were responsible are now in jail for money laundering and fraud because of their involvement with SizeMax, along with another company before that, Longitude. I guess the State of Arizona got to them before I could. They seized all of their assets and came forward with a bunch of charges. They were charged and convicted of their crimes and as I'm sure that you probably can understand, it is hard to collect money from someone who is in jail. And it is especially hard to collect money from someone involved in the type of criminal activities that these guys were. However, had they not been in jail, we wouldn't have been able to serve them in the first place. We tried to track them down before they were sentenced and it was impossible. Anyway, I have my judgement and it is good for 10 years and is renewable for another 10 after that. I hope one of those jackasses wins the lottery, or creates a legitimate profitable business someday, or something so I can get my 16+ mill! Wouldn't that be nice?! :)

Attention everyone: I will be at the Internext convention in Vegas next week. I'm really looking forward to that trip! If you are planning on going, please look for me. :)

And the saga continues, iBill is still not paying anyone again. They won't even send out the promissory notes like they promised to. They did make a payment and I thought things would get back on track and now they've stopped again. WTF?! I have a feeling that I am going to get ripped off! They are sinking like the Titanic now because I'm sure everyone is pulling their links the fuck off of their sites. I thought that they might be able to pull it together but after the recent events, I'm not too sure. And it sucks, because if they tank, I will never see all of the money they owe me. If you are a member of my site and you haven't switched to CCBill yet, please do. I don't know how much longer I will be doing business with iBill.

Speaking of that, I did apply for my own merchant account as I have been talking about doing for quite a while now. I have completed the initial steps and then I will be working on the 80 page contract tomorrow. Once that gets done, I have an 8 to 12 week wait for the bank to approve the account. In the mean time, I am going to be setting up with Epoch. I think it is a good idea to have back up processors... at least 2 of them. Since iBill isn't paying me, they're out as soon as I get something else in place.

Lastly, I am very excited to get back to doing my camshows. I set up a show and sent a wire transfer to Emulive on the 23rd. It says on their site to allow 24-48 hours for them to process a wire transfer, however, it is now the 29th and I have yet to hear from them. I've sent them 2 emails now and still no word. I've had to postpone 2 shows now because of this. Anyway, I hope that I am able to do a show done before New Years. If not, I might have to wait until after the New Year and after Internext. Stay tuned. I'll keep you posted.

Other than that, the only new news is that I've been feeling sick but I'm finally starting to get a little better. I nearly lost my voice! Unfortunately, I was sick all thru Christmas.

Have a Happy New Year everyone and thanks for reading! :)

XoXoX,
Bobbi B.
http://www.BobbiBillard.com

Thursday, November 11, 2004

Appearance!!

So Cal peeps... I will have a booth at Holiday Havoc this weekend. Please find me and come say hello! I'd love to meet you in person! :)



Saturday, November 13th 12PM - 11PM



Sunday, November 13th 12PM - 9PM



Tons of Bands + Snowboarding & Skateboarding...

Please click the link below for more info:

http://www.snowskateexpo.com


XoXoX,
Bobbi B.

http://www.BobbiBillard.com

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

H2 For Sale!

Thanks for posting all of the tips about my iBill situation. I've made my mind up to go forward with getting my own merchant account after reading all of the facts. I am too concerned that CCBill will be next and I don't want to take my chances if they are.

I went to San Antonio yesterday. I had a check-up with Dr. Youngblood. He said that my neck is healing well and I can up my weights from 10 pounds to 15-20. I'm still scared of the weights though. I think I will stick to around 5-10 pounds. Right now I am concentrating more on doing cardio. Youngblood wrote me a prescription for physical therapy. I'm going to start with all that soon.

I went hiking in Topanga Canyon this past weekend. It was beautiful! The hiking trail was covered overhead with trees and then there were parts that you came out into the direct sunlight. There was a really nice view at the top of Downtown L.A., Santa Monica, and Pacific Palisades. I haven't really done stuff like that in the past but I plan on doing more of it. I'm looking into finding out if there are any trails in my neck of the woods.

Well, I'm off to go pay the registration for my Hummer. $2100! Ouch! They are taxing me big time because I bought it out in Kentucky. Anyone want to buy it? I am so over that car! I seriously want to sell it! They don't allow me to park it where I live because there is limited parking for guests and it won't fit in my garage. I'm kicking myself for buying those huge tires now! I've been playing musical spots in the parking lot with it to try and avoid it being towed and it's getting a bit old. Besides, I don't really need 2 cars anyway. Anyone have any suggestions as to how to go about selling a car? It's a black 2004 Hummer H2 and it's loaded and in excellent condition. Navigation system and everything... and only 10,000 miles on it! Let me know...

Take care,
Bobbi B.
http://www.BobbiBillard.com

Friday, November 5, 2004

Playboy, Panty Party, Shysters over @ iBill, etc.

Hey everyone, just an update for you all. I've been busy doing a bunch of stuff. What else is new, right?

Went to the Playboy Mansion for their Halloween party. I had a great time, as usual. This is the first party I've been able to attend since my Kentucky adventure and then my injury. I really missed that place! I went with Taylor Kennedy... Great girl! Saw Anna Nicole Smith there and I had drank enough liquid courage to go up and talk to her. I only wish I could remember what the fuck I said to her, LOL!! I gave TK a little tour of the mansion and we tried to feed the monkeys. The monkeys must have been full because they were way too cool for the grapes we were trying to feed them. Oh and people were porking underwater in the grotto. I've never seen that going on before at any of the parties, surprisingly enough. Although, everyone thinks I am full of shit when I tell them that. Most people think that that place is one big sex fest. It's not! I swear! I've gotten blasted with super-soakers in the grotto before but this was the first and only time I expect to see that other crap! I'm surprised that they got away with it. I thought that place had cameras everywhere with security diligently watching. Anyway, I really don't remember much about the people porking in the grotto part of the night. It's a big blur. Most of the night was, for that matter, but I do know that we (TK as Dorothy from Wizard of Oz and myself as the Cub Scout) rocked it hard, had a blast, and got home safe and sound in one piece. And I'm so glad that I made it through another party without breaking my ankle while navigating across the cobblestones in my 6 inch platform heels.

I went to a private party at La Perla Lingerie at South Coast Plaza last night. Love that stuff... a little too much!

I recently wandered in there while on a shopping trip and have been regretting that decision ever since. I didn't think they had bras that fit me so I had never bothered to check it out before. But the ever helpful sales ladies (that most definitely must work on commission) seen me coming and brought me the whole store practically to try on. I managed to squeeze into a couple of 38 DD's and I couldn't resist the urge to buy everything in sight that looked good on me. You see, it's been so hard for me to find pretty bras in my size with matching t-back panties. Everything that fits me usually reminds me of lingerie that someone's grandma would wear. Not sexy at all! So anyway, I ended up spending a grip and when I got the bill, I literally made a noise from the shock. It is usually so unlike me to bat a fake eyelash at that stuff. I'm notorious for not looking at price tags. I guess I'm used to shopping at Victoria's Secrets and the likes. At least I can use it to shoot and do cam-shows in so I was able to somewhat rationalize my out of control spending. Plus, it's tax deductable, right? I knew something was up when they offered me some champagne after I paid. Thanks for the gesture, but I think I really needed the champagne before the bill came! LOL!

Back to the party though... it was cool! I had good company (I went with my favorite lingerie consultant), got 15% off, sipped on White Chocolate Martinis, and raided the tray of Hors D' Ouevres for yummy Coconut Shrimp and Caprese on sourdough toast crackers. So much for my low carb diet. I was doing so good but too many temptations were in front of me. Had a convo with the angel and devil that sits on my shoulder and the lil' devil won. Damnit! Hate it when that happens! ;) Bought a lil' sexy number (very girlie and pin-upy, black with pink bows) and a blue bra and panties that I shouldn't have bought. That stuff is expensive! For the first time in my life, I have money problems and I have absolutely no business shopping. Let me explain more...

My billing company, iBill, is LAME! If I had a megaphone, I'd be shouting about how much they suck ass! They aren't paying any of their clients and I'm one of them. This has been going on for over a month and a half. No warning, nothing! Just all of a sudden, we aren't paying you. Nice huh? So your house and car payment is due? Yeah, sorry about that! First Data is holding the money hostage because they don't like "adult" sites. And iBill isn't pursuing any "addition litigation" with First Data or anything... but don't worry, we are actively trying to retrieve the $15 million of our clients' money that First Data is holding. Right!!!! What can I say, they are bigtime shysters! It's always nice when you are just coming off of an injury and have bills galore due and no money coming in, right? BK-ing and calling it a day is not an option. I'm back to using CC Bill for my processing, but honestly, after this, I'm not trusting any of these third party billing companies. I heard some inside information a long while back that iBill and CC Bill were biting the dust because of all of the hassle with Visa and the adult industry. I heard iBill was going to BK first and then CC Bill. I'm thinking, judging from recent events, that this information is looking like it is turning out to be more and more credible. Not that I didn't believe this person back in the day (for the record, I did) but I struggled with the enevitable (getting my own merchant account). I had issues with putting my home address on my DBA (a DBA is a required step in the process) and supposedly they will not accept PO Boxes on the forms. I'm kicking myself for not taking the steps sooner because now more than ever, it is a major pain in the ass to get one. I've been looking into the merchant account deal again and oh the hoops they want you to jump through these days. Like I said, should coulda woulda! Argh! I've got about 80 pages of contract that I don't understand. Nor does my A.D.D. permit me to sit down and read through that crap. And at this point, it looks as if you have to have your own office space to pull it off as well as a customer service line. I could be reading too much into it though. Anyone have any suggestions for me? I'd appreciate it a lot! :)

Also, I was wondering if anyone knew how to go about changing the address on my DBA. I was using someone's address before but I need to change it to my own. I'd really like to have the address be my PO Box address but like I said, it says on the forms "No PO Boxes". It really weirds me out that someone could get my home address from my DBA because isn't it public information?

XoXoX,
Bobbi B.
http://www.BobbiBillard.com
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/BobbiBillard

Sunday, October 10, 2004

Shhh!! Be vawy vawy quiet... I'm hunting wabbits!

Long time no post. I've had an interesting week. I've got tons of stuff going on right now. Busy busy busy! I went to L.A. yesterday and got a wild hair and decided that I wanted to re-pierce my belly button. I've had my belly button pierced twice now but it closed up again, or so I thought. When I was in Kentucky at wrestling practice, we were practicing getting thrown out of the ring over the top rope and I took my belly button ring out and set it aside because I was afraid that it might get caught on the ropes and get ripped out. I set my very favorite platinum and diamond belly button ring on a table and forgot all about getting it when class was over. Of course I remembered after I had left school, but no worries... I assumed that it would be sitting right there where I had left it. The next day, I went to class all bright eyed and bushy tailed and looked on the table and it was nowhere to be seen. So I asked if OVW had a a "Lost and Found" or if someone had seen it. I mean doesn't every school have a "Lost and Found"? I was told that there wasn't a "Lost and Found" and if anything was found, it would be thrown away. Hmmmm... That's interesting! I could have sworn that people have left their stanky knee or elbow pads at class and they would be there the next day but whatever! It was my fault. I shouldn't have left it there. I was just too scared to go up to the bleachers and put it away in my purse. That Rip Rogers guy scared the crap out of me and I didn't want to get yelled at. I was so gunshy at that place, it was not even funny. I tried to walk around on eggshells. Those people were on my ass hardcore and I had already gotten the nickname of being one of the "Bad News Blondes" from Ivory so I didn't want to do one single thing wrong to give them any ammunition against me. I definitely wasn't having the best luck holding onto my nice jewelry throughout that experience. For the record, I rarely lose stuff. I am so anal about keeping track of everything, that it is practically impossible. This type of stuff is a rare occurrence for me. First my diamond earrings "got lost" the day that I got my developmental contract and now my expensive belly button ring was gone too. And with us practicing 8 hour days, 6 days a week, and sometimes having to go to shows on top of that, there was no way in hell I was going to be able to find the time to go to a body piercing store in Louisville and pick up a new one. Besides, I had heard that your belly button closes up from the outside in, in a matter of a day or so. Also, at that time, I didn't have a car out there and I absolutely hate asking people for favors, so I just figured it was a lost cause.

So I go in to re-pierce for what was going to be the third time and I buy the jewelry, sign the forms, and meet with the piercer. I'm all nervous and everything... Why? I don't know because it doesn't hurt that bad! I start telling him that I've had my ring out since February and I'm not entirely sure that it closed up already. So he decides to try to put a ring through there to see what happens. It went right in. Ok... now I feel like a jackass now for wasting his time. And I really don't know what the hell I was thinking when I picked out my ring. It was the cutest one that they had, a Playboy Bunny half ring but it wasn't very practical. I had a ring that was very similar to this one in the past and I took it out because the ears jab me in the tummy when I sit down. Not a very good idea for someone that sits and works on the computer quite a bit. It's getting to be pretty damn unbearable!

All in all it was a good day. I'm really glad that I didn't have to deal with healing all over again, washing it twice a day, and the sea salt compresses. Plus, I was a little sketched out on the fact that I had just had neck surgery. I didn't want to do anything that might potentially mess with my healing process. I know that when I go to the dentist for my cleanings, I have to take antibiotics before I go in now. So if them scraping away at your teeth could potentially create a problem, I can imagine that piercing your belly might too, even though the people at the piercing shop said it would be fine.

I stayed up on the computer last night until some ridiculous hour. I think I ended up going to bed at like 6 am or something and I had the hardest time falling asleep. It's always nice being on Vampire Hours and listening to the paperboy deliver the morning paper and realizing that you are still awake and screwing around on the computer at the crack of dawn. Isn't it just fabulous to bed when the sun is coming up? I hate when I get on this schedule but somehow I always manage. The computer sucks me in. Then I end up staying up late and sleeping all day. And so becomes the beginning of a bad vicious cycle. Note to self: Go to bed at a decent hour tonite. Wait scratch that... Virginia Marie is coming over tonite. At least I got a lot of stuff done. And I even had time to play on www.myspace.com, as well as chat with Sarah from Australia on AOL. I also went online shopping for a couple new rings because I can't deal with these damn bunny ears poking me anymore. Besides, I had to replace my beloved belly button ring that got lost somewhere in Kentucky. I found two really cool sites for high-end platinum and diamond belly button rings. The first one, http://www.mybellyring.com was the same place that I purchased the one that I had lost. And the second site, http://www.bellybella.com is my new favorite. I have two new rings on the way. I hope they send em quick because this bunny one is brutal! Finally, almost everything that I lost on my little adventure to Louisville has been replaced... except for little bit of a broken heart <3 and spirit! I'll get it back though... there's nothing that a little time and TLC can't fix!

XoXoX,
Bobbi B.
http://www.BobbiBillard.com

Friday, October 8, 2004

Words of Wisdom

Borrowed from some chick's page on myspace.com:
People will always talk about you, especially when they envy you and the life you live. Let them... you affected their lives, they didn't affect yours. - Anon

http://www.BobbiBillard.com
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/BobbiBillard

Thursday, September 9, 2004

Great News! :)

Remember how I said that my luck is going to change for the better? Damn my intuition is good!

*Pats self on the back*

I flew out to San Antonio, Texas yesterday for my follow-up appointment with Dr. Youngblood. He said that I am healing very nicely. I told him that I had stopped taking my pain killers well over a week ago. I think they were suprised by that too. The BMP (Bone Morphenogenic Protein) is growing and I am looking more and more solid. Yay!

So guess what! He told me that I can drive now, just not in rush hour traffic. That's great news to me because I'm super independent and I hate asking my friends for favors! Now I can get to the gym every day, etc., etc.

Also, I'm allowed to start weaning myself off of wearing the neck brace. I'm really happy about that too because this news was unexpected. I thought that I had almost a full month left wearing my soft collar brace 24/7 and I had no clue when I would be able to drive again. Regardless of all of this new freedom I have been allowed, I think that I'm still going to take it easy. I'm pretty sure that that is one of the reasons why I have been healing so quickly. I have been very patient through all of this because I want to make sure I heal properly. It's very important to me. Plus, I think that quitting the pain killers early on was beneficial. I've heard that they slow down your healing process so I tried to get off of them as soon as I could.

Anyway, I'm pondering places to go now that I can drive again. Today I'm thinking about going to get a massage with my friend Brandi. Brandi was my best friend from grade school on. We lost track of each other when we were 18 years old but thanks to my website, she was able to find me again and we were able to reconnect.

I'm looking forward to having a spa day, because after that trip to San Antonio, I really need a good massage! That trip out there was brutal this time around! Usually it's a bit of a tough day, but not too bad. I normally wake up at the crack of dawn and go to the airport. Then I fly out there, see the doctor, then turn around and fly back home again. Unfortunately, there aren't any direct flights out there so I make 2 stops each way. I'm not sure if I'm more sensitive now because of the surgery and the fact that I am still healing and not taking any pain killers, or what, but some of the landings were pretty harsh for me. One was practically a crash landing! I wasn't the only person tripping out. The people in the plane all started cursing when we landed as we bounced several times on the runway. And the pilot got on the loudspeaker and acknowledged that that was definitely not his best landing of all time. I was tempted to go bodyslam him for putting me through that. Three out of four of my landings were jarring experiences for me with that one that I mentioned being the worst out of all of them. I know that I will get better in time though and hopefully won't keep feeling extra sensitive to all the stuff that I used to do without any problems before.

XoXoX,
Bobbi B.
http://www.BobbiBillard.com
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/BobbiBillard

Wednesday, September 8, 2004

Sometimes I just have to laugh!

Lips... and Hips!

I've always thought that in life, you have to go through the bad times to appreciate the good. I have noticed that when things seem to be going terribly, all of a sudden, my luck will change for the best. I have a feeling that things will be coming around for me soon. Call it a hunch, I don't know. I've always thought that I had pretty good intuition (IF I paid attention to the signs and didn't talk myself out of feeling whatever way I was feeling). For instance, I had every sign in the world to change my mind about taking on that developmental contract with WWE. Maybe I'll tell you the story about the series of events that led up to the agent that "lost" my $15,000 diamond earrings someday. I found out that they were gone (presto... abra cadabra) on the same night that I found out that I was being offered the contract with WWE. So, I ignored this warning sign even though I thought to myself, maybe just maybe, somebody or something was trying to tell me something. However, I blew it off... it's only money, I'll make more, right? I bought myself a new pair and dusted myself off from the trauma of my loss. I don't even feel like getting into all of that right now but let's just say that I ignored some gut feelings that I was having regarding that whole situation and I'm paying the price for it now. No big deal, I'm trying not to be bitter about all of the unnecessary crap that I had to go through.

I have to admit, I do find it to be pretty funny tuning into RAW these days and seeing the Diva Search Contest and hearing about how everyone is all pissed off about it. LOL! The ratings suck, the fans don't want to see it, blah blah blah! Guess I wasn't so bad after all because at least I really wanted to learn how to wrestle and had a little bit of experience. I don't think Ivory thought that it could be worse, she could still potentially lose her spot to somebody younger and hotter that didn't even have to wrestle. And if that does end up happening, it would definitely add insult to injury that they make more money than she does, in their very first year in the business. It's entirely possible that had Tasha and I stayed down there, they might not have even thought of having that contest after all. Maybe one of these girls will take Ivory's non-existent spot already so that she can quit bitching about it and spare them the drama!

Enough about all of this nonsense, for now, I really wanted to talk about my luck changing for the better. This is a feeling that I have and I guess time will tell me if I am correct. I believe that in life you have to roll with the punches. And it might sound funny, but sometimes I have to laugh when bad things happen to me! It's like, could it really get any worse? I don't know why I find it funny, but I do. I must have a sick sense of humor. But really I think it's more like this... I just don't let negativity phase me anymore because I know it means that after the bad passes, great things start happening for me again. Maybe that is why I embrace the fact that it appears as if I have been having a string of bad luck. Let's recap... First, I get injured shortly after relocating to Louisville, KY to go to wrestling school at OVW, then I find out that my injury warrants a 2 level fusion neck surgery, and now years of cranking my AC to 69 degrees, year-round, have finally got the best of me. It appears that the coils in my AC rusted out and my condensation line backed up which caused a bit of water damage in my office. My office has been boarded up for over a week now while they had a couple of dry heat blowers in there to dry out my ceilings. The next step is that I am going to have to have my ceilings repaired since the dry-wall and insulation got all wet. It's bad enough that being an extremely independant girl, I have been stuck at home, unable to drive, and completely reliant on friends and family to help me out. If it weren't for their help, I would have starved to death by now. But at least I have access to my computer again! The worst part of it all was being away from the internet for so long! I was going through some major withdrawals for a while there, but I am back again! :) Yay!

And get this! I'm able to finally use my computer to surf the web once again, and one of the first things I come across is a message from somebody forwarding me a link to this site:

http://forums.thesmartmarks.com/index.php?showtopic=60522

I guess this is a message board that had some people posting about some recent news that occurred. What a trip! Dr. Tom got fired by the WWE. Hmmm... interesting isn't it? First Jackie, now him?! And as I'm reading, I come across this post...



geniusMoment Posted: Sep 3 2004, 03:16 AM


King of the Ring


Group: Members
Posts: 1519
Member No.: 1763
Joined: 28-March 02



I wonder if this is to protect WWE from a lawsuit, after Pritchard made an ass out of himself criticizing Bobbi Billiard, saying she was not hurt when she needed neck fusion. Jackie was also released after a long tenure, suspiciously right after this incident became public. Are you paying attention Ivory?



Right on "geniusMoment", whoever you are! While I normally wouldn't celebrate someone else's losses, I'm going to make a one time exception to my rule. I really can't say that I am all too disappointed to hear that the self proclaimed "Doctor", the one that accused me of sitting out of practice because I supposedly had a "tummy ache" instead of a legitimate and very serious neck injury, got his ass handed to him. Sorry buddy, but if you write a 3 page article slamming me and spreading mis-truths, you are not going to get my sympathy! Especially when you never even took the time to get to know what I was really about and instead listened to a bunch of (or even worse yet, a few) idiots that would do anything to ensure that I wouldn't get pulled up to tv before they would. Now, I have no idea if (like "geniusMoment" suggested) Dr. Tom getting fired has anything to do with his invalid rambling report regarding myself and my condition, but we can only hope... *snicker*

I've always said that what comes around goes around and every once in a while, I do get to see signs that some of the theories that I believe in, really do exist. I do know though, if they do, there's only one more duck in the row that has GOTS to go. And I will go so far as to also make an exception to my "wishing bad on other people rule" as well for this one special person! So here it goes, I'll be crossing my fingers for it to happen. Maybe someday... 'Til next time ya'll!

XoXoX,
Bobbi B.
http://www.BobbiBillard.com
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/BobbiBillard

Sunday, August 8, 2004

It's a girl! :)

I have my hands full right now!!

Guess what... I finally did it! I've been talking about it for ages! I finally broke down and bought my dog "Gucci" his very own sexy girlfriend. So yes, for those of you that have been wondering, my recent camera phone pics of the new puppy are of MY new puppy, not someone else's. The newest addition to my family is a baby girl. She is a Tri-Colored Papillon (Brown, Black, & White). She is almost 4 months old and weighs close to 4 pounds. Here are some pics of "Chanel"...

Chanel
Diamonds & Pearls
Awww... She's sleeping!

I named her "Chanel" to keep with the designer doggie theme that I have going. Hehehe! :) I figured that since I am stuck at home recovering from my injury and I can't be modeling with this big ugly neck brace that I have to wear, I might as well take advantage of my off time and put it to use!

I will be home each and every day for a while, so I figured that I can spend some of my time potty training a brand new puppy. The only problem is that I bought her from a pet store and she's sick. It figures huh?! As we were driving home from the pet store, "Chanel" turned into "The Exorcist" puppy. It was really bad! We pulled over and went to the nearest grocery store to pick up some stuff to clean up with since she made a huge mess, in spite of being such a small dog. We went through an entire container of baby wipes just cleaning everything up! I took her to the vet and she's on meds now. She already seems to be getting better. I am being really careful with her so that she doesn't get "Gucci" sick too. And as for "Gucci", he is not all that thrilled with her yet, I think he's pretty jealous. I'm trying to pay a lot of attention to both of them but this new baby needs lots of love. She's very attached to me already and cries if I don't have her in my lap. If anyone out there has any tips for me about introducing a new puppy to the family, I'd be glad to hear them.

XoXoX,
Bobbi B.
http://www.BobbiBillard.com

Thursday, August 5, 2004

My road to recovery...

Hi there,

Pretty In Pink!Thanks everybody for your get well wishes and all that. I just wanted to update you all and let you know that I'm doing ok. As most of you already know, I was working for WWE (World Wrestling Entertainment) on a developmental contract and I got hurt in the ring. So I've been in a lot of pain since February of this year. I went to 5 different doctors and they all recommended surgery to fix my problem in my neck. WWE finally came thru for me and sent me out to one of the top neurosurgeons in the country, Dr. Youngblood in San Antonio, Texas. He's a great doctor and he's the one who has fixed a bunch of their wrestler's necks (Stone Cold, Lita, Hardcore Holly, Rhyno, Chris Benoit, etc.). On July 27th, I had a major surgery... a 2 level fusion in my neck @ c5-c6 and c6-c7, plus they shaved off some bone spurs, etc. So now, I'm as good as new! Yay! :)

As for how I'm feeling, I'm doing fine, especially considering the circumstances. The surgery was pretty intense, I'm not going to lie. They had to move my voice box over as well as my muscles out of the way so they could get in there and operate. Trippy huh?! As my friend Heather posted in my yahoo group, on the first day immediately after my surgery, the doctor and a few of the nurses were wheeling me in my bed back up to my hospital room. The doctor told me that at some point that day, I had to walk a lap around my section of the hospital. He told me that he would be sending someone from the physical therapy department up to my room. I told him, "Why don't we just walk right now?!". So immediately after my surgery, I was up walking around the hospital with him.

I wanted to let you guys know how amazing Dr. Youngblood is! He took such good care of me. He knew that I was worried about my scar, so he even went to the trouble of having a plastic surgeon come in and assist him with making my scar look as aesthetic as possible. I can't even begin to tell you what a caring doctor he is. Now I see why Stone Cold was raving about that guy! He truly is an awesome doctor. I already know that he fixed me. The stabbing pains in my back/neck/upper trap area were gone the moment I woke up from surgery. Same with the numbness in my fingers and the radiculopathy (pain that ran down my arm). I think I am going to get my strength back completely, it is already a lot better. I am very impressed with that doctor and would highly recommend him to anyone considering having back or neck surgery. If anyone out there needs a referral, let me know. There's a reason he's one of the top surgeons in the country!

I've taken some pics of myself in my groovy new neck brace, my new scar that looks like I got attacked and had my throat slit by some psycho killer (the scar actually looks really good right now and I know it will be undetectable before too long) etc.

I'm back in Cali now and things are going well with my recovery. I can't wait to get this neck brace off. I can only take it off when I shower. It gets annoying!

Anyway, thanks for thinking of me. :) I'm getting better each and every day and it's only been a little over a week.

I know that I am behind in responding to my comments but rest assured that I am reading everything.

Take care,
Bobbi B.
http://www.BobbiBillard.com
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/BobbiBillard

Monday, July 26, 2004

Out of Commission For A While... I Will Miss You!

Sarah, Bill, or Vee should be able to answer any of your questions regarding my progress in case you are curious. I need to get to bed, I am flying out early tomorrow so I really have to get some sleep!

Here's the latest... I just got back late Thursday night and I've been hurting all weekend. It was a long hard trip! I left Wednesday and slept at a hotel. Then I woke up early Thursday morning, packed all of my stuff and checked out of the hotel, then went to Dr. Youngblood's office, then I went to the airport to return back to OC. Now, I turn around and fly back on Monday (tomorrow morning) for my pre-op appointment and then Tuesday's my big surgery! That was the soonest possible surgery that he had available and I took it! Mine!

Dr. Youngblood is THE best doctor ever! He had the most extensive tests that I have ever had and he spent A LOT of time going over all of my medical records AND explaining them ALL to me. He left no leaf uncovered. He's awesome! I couldn't say enough nice things about the guy. I am totally confident that he is the man for the job. I have complete faith in him, and to be honest, I am not in the slightest bit worried about him operating on me. I have given him my complete trust that he will be able to fix me like new and I have no doubts whatsoever that he will deliver!

For all those that are curious what we decided on, in short, I am doing a 2 level fusion in my neck at c5/c6 and c6/c7 levels with bmp (Bone Morphogenic Protein), cadaver bone, and cages. WWE has come through for me with all of this and it is much appreciated! I will post again once I am able to. I doubt there will be a computer in the hospital, but then again, in this day and age, ya never know. You know how I am, wild horses couldn't drag me away from my computer but I have to take care of my health which is what I am doing. I will try my best to keep you updated on my progress the soonest chance that I get. I'll see ya' all when I am feeling better! :)

Take care,
Bobbi B.
http://www.BobbiBillard.com

Sunday, July 18, 2004

The endless mission of trying to "Get Well Soon"...

Hey everyone,

I just wanted to let you all know that I received a bunch of cards and even a couple gifts today from my PO Box. Thanks so much! You guys really helped to cheer me up!

As for my condition, here's an update for you. I sent my mylegram films today to WWE. I'm scared! I had to pay $15 a sheet for those medical records so it cost me $315 total to get them. Not to mention, I had to pay $73 to ship it out to them next day air. Nothing like having a bunch of expenses when you can't even work eh?

They told me not to worry and assured me that if I didn't get my medical records back, they would reimburse me. Still, I don't understand why they couldn't call the doctor and purchase a copy for their own records. I also didn't understand why they wanted me to send the records to them instead of having me send them directly to Dr. Youngblood and therefore cut out the middle man. I asked and was told that they will send them in their packaging, that way I get preferential treatment since it is coming from them. I am a bit skeptical but what the heck. Worst case scenario, they lose them or whatever, I go out and buy them again. It's only money right? I'll make more... Forgive me for being so untrusting, I guess I have some major trust issues when it comes to WWE. I was always told that everything is a work... So I'm always on my guard! I sent them off anyway. They are (hopefully, as I was told) sending my films to Dr. Youngblood. They tell me he is a straight shooter and will answer my question about whether I should go in surgically through the back or the front of my neck. Then I will decide which place is the best to go have my surgery and I'm going in.

And you know what? The strangest thing happened... I had a good couple of days. I mean really good! So good that I thought some miracle transpired and that I was fixed. Too bad it didn't last. I've had a rough few days since the 2 good ones! I don't mean to sound unappreciative but those 2 days were not long enough. I can't wait until I feel like my old self again. I need to go lay down now because it feels like an axe murderer is going to town on me again.

Thanks again for everything... the cards (too many people to mention and you know who you are), the stuffed frog (Thanks Katty) and lollypops, and the bath stuff (Thanks Cedric... I <3 Lavendar! Yay! I can't wait to relax in the bath... now if only I had a bigger bathtub! Someday!).

XoXoX,
Bobbi B.
http://www.BobbiBillard.com

More pics from my hell-ish weekend...

I am paying the price now but I think it was way worth it after seeing this latest batch of pics.

Pretty in pink...
Which picture is your favorite and why?

XoXoX,
Bobbi B.
http://www.BobbiBillard.com
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/BobbiBillard

Saturday, July 17, 2004

I caught the writing bug...

I don't know what's wrong with me. Maybe it's because I'm so stir-crazy because I sit home every day and don't leave the house due to my injury. Here's the latest...

Thanks to jesterstear, I found out about this cool website where you can list your DVD collection online. I think this site is a great idea! If I want to have a friend come over and watch movies with me while I am recovering from my surgery, they can look online and pick out what they want to watch. You too can check out my collection by clicking on this link: http://www.dvdspot.com/member=BobbiBillard.

Here is another nice art card that I received thanks to Dereck...
Thank you Dereck!

And don't forget that I'm doing a live chat tomorrow (Sunday, July 18th at 5 pm Pacific, 8 pm Eastern). The live chat will be held on www.GloryWrestling.com. In order to chat with me, go to that site tomorrow (Sunday the 18th) at 5 pm Pacific (8pm Eastern) and there will be a chatroom link on the menu. Just click there to meet me in the chatroom. Please come by if you aren't busy. It would mean the world to me.

XoXoX,
Bobbi B.
http://www.BobbiBillard.com
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/BobbiBillard

Thursday, July 15, 2004

Old stories that I haven't told before...

I haven't really talked about the death of my father, so I thought that I'd share a few stories with you guys. On my profile on MySpace.com, under the "Heros" section, I have my father listed there and I explain that he died of cancer when I was 19 years old. Every once in a while, I get an email from someone that has been through the same thing. So today, I got into a conversation with this guy whose mom had died when he was the same age. We got to sharing stories and I shared with him what one of the saddest times was for me (other than when he died). Here is what I wrote...

It's hard and something that you really never get over. The worst part was when my sister got married. I was a bridesmaid and I had to walk past this table and it had a bunch of photos of my dad on it. It was kind of like a shrine. Why'd they have to put all those pictures there on a table that I had to walk by before I had to come out as a bridesmaid in the wedding? I wasn't prepared for it at all. I started crying as soon as I saw it and could not stop no matter how hard I tried to compose myself. My grandfather (my dad's father) took my dad's place in walking my sister down the aisle. I cried the whole entire wedding because it saddened me to think that my dad couldn't be there to walk her down the aisle and then also he would never be able to walk me down the aisle someday either. People must have thought I was a wackjob crying like that. Especially since they might not have known the real reason why I was so sad. It's embarrassing to cry in front of a bunch of family and people that you don't know for over an hour straight! Let me just tell you! Anyway, I know what it's like and if you ever want anyone to talk to about anything, feel free to message me.

Then he told me how he had found out that his mom had died and I told him the story about how I found out. You guys will trip out on this one...

I had a friend staying over and my sister and mom kept calling me. I finally woke up to the phone ringing over and over and they said that my dad was "actively dying" so hurry up if I wanted to say goodbye. I forget what "actively dying" exactly means. We had my dad staying at home under hospice care because he didn't want to be in the hospital when he died. "Actively dying" was the term that the hospice nurse used. So anyway, my friend drove my car over there because I was crying and would have been a danger on the road. I told her to drive fast... like Turbo style... Mario Andretti... Step on it! Ya know? When we got to my neighborhood, there was a construction company called Pac West Construction working on the cable. I guess we had driven too fast through the neighborhood so when I got there, they came to my house and told me off. I was crying and I told them that my dad was dying. I was nice at first but they proceeded to argue with me. Finally I told them again, "Listen, my dad is in there dying! I don't have time for this shit or else I won't be able to say goodbye to him!". I ran inside and slammed the door. When I finally got there, he was already dead. Apparently my excuse wasn't good enough for those construction workers because they called the cable company to complain again. We got a phone call from the cable company and they were pissed off about my friend's erratic driving. My sister answered the phone and she explained the situation. And, not to mention, I wasn't even the one driving the car and my friend had dropped me off and left so why were they harrassing us? I don't get it! I guess Cox Cable didn't believe that my father had just died either because guess what the cable company did.... They called the cops. So we hear a knock at the door and there was a police officer at the front door. I was like WTF! Would you like to come in and see the dead body? Come on! Leave us the fuck alone! My father just died ok???? The cop that showed up was very embarrassed and hopefully he gave that cable company a piece of his mind. I mean how fucking rude is that? I told them my dad was dying, what did they think I was lying and faking a bunch of tears? If that was the case, then I would have deserved an Oscar. Give me a break! Lame! Pac West Construction, fuck you and your rude, insensitive construction workers!

Wow! I feel better now that I got that off of my chest!

My mom chuckled later about the whole incident and made a comment like, "Bobbi, you are always bringing the drama! Even on the day your dad has died. It must be that Fire sign!". I think, at that moment, my mom finally understood the way things are for me sometimes. I don't know what it is about me, but I have always had people in my life go out of their way to fuck with me. In all fairness though, I've had a ton of people go out of their way to do super nice things for me too. So I guess it all evens out in the end.

When I was growing up, my mom couldn't help but wonder if I was doing something to cause it. I think after this situation, she understood things a little better.

XoXoX,
Bobbi B.
http://www.BobbiBillard.com
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/BobbiBillard

Wednesday, July 14, 2004

WWE is coming through...

Woohoo! I'm a seeing is believing type girl. Always have been, always will be. I have too much baggage from people not doing what they say they will. That's just me though. It's nothing personal, I just don't blindly trust ANYTHING or ANYONE for that matter, until proven otherwise! So, as you all know, I've still been waiting to get my surgery. Here's the hold up. I've been confused by the various appointments that I have had so far. One doctor wanted to go in through the back (but they say it is riskier and might not necessarily fix my problem), the other doctors wanted to go in through the front and do 2 level fusion (which requires 6 months - a year recovery time). I have heard a lot of good things about Dr. Youngblood and I was hoping that he would give me the final say-so on my surgery. He's supposed to be the best of the best so I trust his opinion. Well... I've been waiting to get in to see him and I got the call today that WWE is sending me out to see Youngblood on the 22nd for a consultation. Yay! I have an appointment and am finally moving forward on my road to recovery. Thank you WWE for coming through for me! :)

And Antonia sent me the coolest artwork / good luck card. She is the sweetest ever! I can't believe how lucky I am to have her as a friend. She has always been so sweet to me even though I'm probably not the most popular girl on the wrestling boards she frequents. She stands up for me on there and that's probably not the easiest thing to do. It reminds me of my best friend Brandi when I was growing up. We are still friends to this day. She stood by me in grade school when I was made fun of all the time. Yeah, I was called "monkey lips", etc. Looking back it's funny now but I do appreciate the fact that she was friends with a girl who wasn't cool to be friends with. I admire that courage in a person and am thankful for it. Back to Antonia though, I wanted to share her card with you all because I love it and I also am a big fan of her graphic art. So here it is...



Reminder! I have my first chat since I went off to OVW back in January. The chat is scheduled for Sunday, July 18th at 5 pm Pacific (8 pm Eastern). The Live Chat will be held on www.GloryWrestling.com. In order to chat with me, go to that site Sunday the 18th at 5 pm Pacific (8pm Eastern) and there will be a chatroom link on the menu. Just click there to meet me in the chatroom. I want you all to be there if you can because I miss chatting with all of you a lot! I would feel a whole heck of a lot more comfortable if I had some friends in there so I'm not throwing myself to the wolves that are judging me as being some "bimbo Playboy model" that didn't appreciate the opportunity and wasn't tough enough to take it.

XoXoX,
Bobbi B.
http://www.BobbiBillard.com
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/BobbiBillard

My friend joined our happy family...

Yay!!!

Please add my friend Virginia Marie and tell her that I sent you. I suggested that she join LiveJournal and she did. I'm so excited! :)

A lil' background on my friend and how we met... I met Virginia Marie while I was out in Kentucky on that developmental deal. Before I moved out there, I didn't know a single soul. Well I did, but they were girls that I was going to be working with, so I was scared that it might be drama if I got too close to any of them. You can imagine how it might be when you put girls in a position of competing (even though I didn't see it as a competition, I wanted everyone to do well, but I didn't know what they were about yet) for fame and fortune, so I was a little bit cautious. I wanted to meet people outside of the whole wrestling world, so I turned to one of my favorite websites www.MySpace.com and changed my location and zip code to be one of the zip codes of Louisville, Kentucky. I started "shopping for some new friends", as Virginia Marie likes to say. I added some people living in Louisville and then finally I made my big move. For a while, I was out there and didn't have a computer. I guess Virginia had seen my profile and added me as a friend, but like I said, I didn't have a computer, so I didn't get to approve her until after we met and I got settled in. So... one night, I went out with some of the wrestlers, and this one wrestler named Beast worked at this club as a bouncer. Low and behold, one of the bartenders there was Ms. Virginia Marie. I guess she recognized me from being on myspace.com and remembered that I had posted on my profile that I was moving out there. She asked Beast to make the introduction, and the rest is history. We were instant friends! It was nice to have a neutral friend out there that I could turn to with all the frustrating stuff that I was going through at OVW and not have to worry that she was just being my friend to get inside my head and eventually screw me over to ensure that I wouldn't get on tv before her. And I must say, Virginia has been an awesome friend to me. She took me to the airport once at some god awful hour one night and even picked me up. She even offered (since I am notorious for not wanting to ask for ANYTHING). I could tell you all the things that make her special, but it would take me forever! She's just a great person! Smart! Beautiful! Super Nice! A Good Listener! Caring! Down to Earth! Etc., Etc., Etc. I want to help her out in whatever way that I can. After all, I'd do anything for that girl! Just ask her about the night that I stood up for her when some guy spilled a drink on her and then was a total dick about it! LOL!

Can somebody please show her how to add friends on here. I was finding it hard to explain it to her but maybe somebody else could do a better job.

I can't sleep! Damn insomnia! Calgon take me away! LOL! It would really help if some pain pill could take my stabbing pains away and make me a bit sleepy too. I couldn't for the life of me get comfortable in bed no matter how hard I tried so you all are stuck with my ramblings.... Until next time! :)

XoXoX,
Bobbi B.
http://www.BobbiBillard.com

Tuesday, July 13, 2004

Another new photo...

Here's another new photo that I took this weekend. This was taken by Bruno Talledo of www.BrunoTalledo.com.

Grr Baby Grr!

In other news, I'm doing a live chat on Sunday, July 18th at 5 pm Pacific (8 pm Eastern). The live chat will be held on www.GloryWrestling.com. In order to chat with me, go to that site Sunday the 18th at 5 pm Pacific (8pm Eastern) and there will be a chatroom link on the menu. Just click there to meet me in the chatroom. I hope to see you all there! :)

XoXoX,
Bobbi B.
http://www.BobbiBillard.com
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/BobbiBillard

Monday, July 12, 2004

New Bobbi Billard Photo...

I dragged my butt to a photoshoot this weekend. My concern was to film enough stuff to have updates for my site while I am out for this surgery. I had no choice but to prepare myself. I did it all for you guys! :)

It was a rough weekend! It's very hard to model and hide the fact that you are in a lot of pain. Thank goodness for my assistant LoriDawn, my friend Virginia Marie, and my video guy. They packed all of my stuff for me and even carried it all in to the locations for me. I couldn't have done it without their help. Also, I let the photogs know the drill so that they would take it easy on me. I can't be swingin' from the chandeliers in my condition. I've forgotten how much work it is to prepare for these shoots but the finished product is definitely worth it in the end. I'm certainly paying the price today. I knew I would be though. Let's put it this way, I'm still in my pjs and I woke up around 1 pm. Thank god for pizza delivery! :)

My friend Virginia shot some KILLER stuff. At one of the locations, there was this window with bars on it 10 feet in the air. She hung from the window in my 6 inch knee high stiletto boots. Her shots came out awesome! I couldn't help but wish that I was able to do stuff like that right now. That's one of the things that I love about her. Like me, she's willing to go to great lengths to get the perfect shot. And she nailed it! I can't wait to see the rest of her pics.

Here's one of the first photos that I have received. This photo is different than anything that I've ever shot before. The photographer was a really funky creative artsy guy with great style. It's my first time working with him but I plan on shooting with him more often. His name is Michael Vincent and you can check out his amazing work at www.MichaelVincent.com. I shot a bunch of really awesome stuff this weekend! I wore some cool new outfits that I had bought in Kentucky in hopes of wearing them on OVW television and WWE someday. It's amazing how much killer stuff I found in Kentucky (of all places)... my friend Virginia, bad ass outfits to shoot in, and even the same shoes for my dog "Gucci" that Paris Hilton's dog "Tinkerbell" wore on the first Simple Life.

More photos to come...

Fuck Modeling! I wanna' be a Tagger when I grow up! ;)

Let me know what you think.

XoXoX,
Bobbi B.
http://www.BobbiBillard.com
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/BobbiBillard

Monday, June 28, 2004

More news in case you care...

To Etovar and David and everyone else who was so kind as to be concerned about my upcoming surgery,

I postponed it. I didn't want to go to the first doctor that wanted to operate on me without getting a second and third and maybe even a fourth opinion and fifth opinion and then go from there. Surgery is a big deal and I just want to make sure of what I'm getting myself into. As of right now I've had 2 opinions. One doctor, Dr. Chon who is with the Kerlan Jobe Clinic (of the Lakers and the Ducks fame) recommended surgery and wanted to go in through the back of my neck. He was kind of rush with me because they are so busy there. I didn't really get to ask him all that much because I was trying to be considerate. Typical me! LOL! I wish I had asked more questions but I am a little more informed now about these proceedures so I won't make these mistakes with the rest of the doctors that I see. The second doctor disagreed about going in through the back of my neck and explained why. He said that he needs to go in through the front of the neck and do a one level (possibly 2 level) fusion. You see, he's not entirely sure if I need 1 or 2 levels. I definitely need my c6-c7 fused. Your c6-c7 affects your middle and index finger as well as your tricep muscle. My index and middle fingers are numb and my tricep muscle is shot. He has me do these tests and I shake on my left side struggling to try and do what my right side is doing. I can't even do a pushup. I've also lost one or more of my reflexes on my right side. I don't know what that means with all of this but they hit me with that hammer thing and it's dead. I think that my c5-c6 is involved and this is what the doctor is unsure about. If the c5-c6 is involved, you get numbness in your index finger and your thumb and your bicep is involved. My thumb and index fingers are numb and tingly, and I can't flex my bicep. I don't know what the tests showed him. I think that is why he is unsure. He tells me that I am very young to be having this done. He said if I were in my 40s, he'd go in and do a 2 level fusion for sure. But at my age he says, that he's reluctant to do both because I'll lose mobility in my neck and might develop arthritis in my neck later on in life. He only wants to do it if he thinks it is definitely necessary and this is why he's not sure. I asked him, "Can't you just go in there and look and see what's going on and then do it from there?". He told me that it doesn't work that way. The second doctor spent a lot of time going over everything with me and he even made me an appointment with a doctor called Dr. Dennis to verify with him if he is on the same page about the 1 or 2 level fusion. Both of these doctors have really good reputations around here. I have an appointment at 4 pm today with a Dr. Jacques Palmer who is supposed to be really good. I've been waiting for months to get in with him so that must be a sign. He's a neurosurgeon. I guess we'll see what his take is on all of this. And WWE is talking about sending me to Dr. Youngblood in San Antonio. He's the one who did a bunch of the wrestlers necks (Stone Cold's, Lita's, etc.). I'm excited to hear what he has to say but first I need to find out about one thing. I spent a bit of time researching him on the net and on his website it says that they take a bone graft from your hip. I asked the last doctor that I saw about all of this and he said that they have stuff that is good as bone now and not to let anyone take part of my hip bone. And I'd prefer not to have another scar because of my modeling career if they do in fact have stuff that is as good as bone for these proceedures. It's bad enough that I'm going to have a scar on the front of my neck! It's not worth it to have 2 scars if I can avoid it. I need to find out if he is still doing it this way and if he is, why. That's where I am at guys. I promise to keep you all posted if I can. If I don't have the time to type what's going on, I promise to let Vee, Bill, and/or Sarah know and I'll have them pass the message on for me. Thanks again for all of your concern and support with all of this.

Also, in response to the latest response from W.W.E. or whomever that is saying that Ivory said those things to us in a promo, I'd just like to let you know that I know perfectly well what the difference is between a promo and a shoot. This most definitely was done during wrestling practice. We did our promos once a week in front of the class and sometimes we even did them in a separate room. We never did them in the ring. Ivory did cut promos on Tasha and I in front of the class before. I wasn't talking about that. What I was speaking about in my journal was during a wrestling class. Can anybody out there read? Tap Tap! Is this thing on? Nice excuse but no dice people! Sorry!

Oh and I forgot to respond to that OVW comment that I came there with a HUGE CHIP ON MY SHOULDER like I was THE BEST THERE EVER WAS IN WOMEN'S WRESTLING! That kills me (in a good way)! I've never laughed so hard in my life! I thank them for the new inside joke amongst my friends. Whenever a friend is on the phone with me and someone asks who they are talking to and they say, "Bobbi" I tell them to add in a sarcastic voice, "Just tell them that I was THE BEST THERE EVER WAS IN WOMEN'S WRESTLING!" LMFAO! That's my new line! Thanks again OVW! :)

XoXoX,
Bobbi B.
http://www.BobbiBillard.com

Saturday, June 12, 2004

Friday, June 11, 2004

Medical Update

I have a pinched nerve and disk bulges with possible nerve damage. The doctor isn't sure that I will get my strength back on my left side. I have surgery tennatively scheduled for the 30th of this month. I am going to get a second opinion but I am pretty sure that they will tell me the same thing. I have my medical records and I read the EMG and myelogram reports. It doesn't look pretty!

XoXoX,
Bobbi B.
http://www.BobbiBillard.com
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/BobbiBillard

Tuesday, June 8, 2004

You can't judge THIS book by its cover!

I'm not sure that this will help any since it seems that some of you skim read and then make up your own story anyway but whatever. I keep this journal for my own benefit and also so that my fans can keep updated as to what's going on with me. I like to be able to look back and remember various things that happened in my life. I shouldn't have to explain what a journal is all about anyway. And another thing, since you can't hear tone of voice over the computer, please don't assume that my tone is something that it is not. With that said, here are some preconceived ideas about me that I would like to address.

#1. Misconception: I don't have any wrestling experience...
One thing I learned is that you never stop learning. You can always stand to learn something new. I learned that from several big names in the industry and I think that that is a great attitude to have. Yeah, I'll admit that WOW wasn't the best show around. The girls on the show did the best that we could with the limited knowledge that we had. It was definitely a positive learning experience. And it does count as experience because I was on a nationally syndicated wrestling tv show. It is more experience than a lot of you that have taken the time to bash me in my comments section (or elsewhere on the net for that matter) have had or will ever have. Hate to be blunt about this but it needs to be said. Yeah, I will admit that on WOW, we didn't have enough training and it is light years away from anything that I was learning at OVW. OVW is a great school! It's very hard to get in there and I appreciated the opportunity a great deal. WOW had scripted matches where as OVW taught you psychology and stuff that I didn't even know existed until I got there. It was very challenging and I was eager to learn. I am a perfectionist and a very hard worker. That is how I got to be where I am in my life. I didn't get to where I am at by people handing me opportunities right and left contrary to popular belief. I had to work to get to where I am at so that I would even be offered a developmental deal with WWE in the first place.

#2. Misconception: I wanted to be treated with kid gloves.
Bullshit! This goes back to the whole "Playboy model" stereotype again. Did you know that before I went to OVW, I drove down to Tijuana, Mexico to train with Rey Mysterio's uncle? Rey Mysterio's uncle (Miguel) is the one who trained Rey and he was the original Rey Mysterio. He is an awesome trainer! There was no running water at our gym so lets just say the toilet situation was rather harsh. It smelled indescribable in there. I would get my perfume out and spray away so that I would not gag to death on the rancid odor. Do you think most "Playboy models" would be down with that? LOL! I know a lot of 'em and I can guarantee you they wouldn't put up with that fact alone. Please do not get me wrong, I'm not complaining about this stuff, I'm proving a point. I would drive down there 3 days a week. It was about 2-3 hours each way. And it's not the safest place in the world for a big breasted blonde to be hanging out. However, I loved training there! They put me in the ring, I was one of the few girls that went to school there. In fact, there were only two other women that attended with me. He taught us that people would be rough with you. At practice we would always chop the others as hard as we could. And they would do the same to me. He said that this would toughen us up and prepare us so if anyone ever hit us hard like this in the ring, it wouldn't take us by surprise. I would ask Miguel to tell the guys to chop me even harder if I felt that they were taking it easy on me because I was a girl.

At the end of some of the classes, we would do submission wrestling. Real stuff! And they put me in there with a guy. And you know what? I held my own. I didn't win but I came close. I am a strong girl. My last evening there, he put me in a submission match vs. one of the other girls. She chopped me as hard as she could, then I chopped her back. Then she slapped me in the face as hard as she could, then I slapped her back. Then we wrestled. I won. Then we shook hands. No hard feelings whatsoever.

I'm from the school where I'd rather have someone lay it in, than miss me by a mile. I want it to look right more than anything. And you know what? I can take it! The true art is making it look like you are clobbering someone when in all actuality you are barely touching them. That was what I was hoping to learn how to do! The point of these stories are that I am tougher than I may look. I'm not saying that I had it as rough as some people. I think that a lot of people missed my point with my earlier post. I'll explain more when I update you all with my medical situation.

#3. Misconception: I quit WWE Developmental Program.
I was released because of my injury. I did not quit. I'll admit that I thought about it... but I didn't.

#4. Misconception: I didn't work through my injuries.
Maybe I didn't emphasise this enough. I probably need surgery. I have my EMG/NCY test tomorrow and I get my results of that and my myelogram on Thursday. I have lost my strength in my left arm. The other day, I tried to show my trainer what I was talking about. In my tricep pulldowns I did about 60 lbs. on my right side. On my left side, I tried to push 20 lbs. and my brain sent the response out, but my arm wouldn't work. I feel constant tingling/numbness in my fingers (and palms), sometimes it is a burning sensation. And it feels as if someone is stabbing me with a knife in my neck down my spinal cord. My pain radiates down my left arm. I am in pain 24/7. The only time I don't feel as much pain is when I am laying down. It is still hard to get comfortable enough to sleep at night. And get this, no pain killer that I have taken so far will put a dent in my pain. I was prescribed vicodin and it didn't do jack shit!

As far as me practicing is concerned, my doctors would not clear me to practice and without clearance, I wasn't allowed to participate. If that makes me a baby or means that I don't love the business enough in your eyes, then so be it. What good is it to go on when it will render you incapable of ever wrestling again!? A neck injury is nothing to toy with. One bad bump and I would have been in a wheelchair. Plain and simple!

That's all for now. I need to go lay down. I'm hurting too much to type anymore.

Take care,
Bobbi B.
http://www.BobbiBillard.com
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/BobbiBillard

Sunday, June 6, 2004

Tough Enough?

I've been silent for way too long. I get back from WWE training camp only to have fans of mine asking me if I took wrestling seriously and if I was missing practices. Do you believe everything you read? I certainly hope not! Always remember that there are two sides to every story. I haven't had a chance to tell mine so here it goes...

In response to all of the stories about LaTasha Marzolla and I "not taking to wrestling", we weren't even given a chance. We got injured too soon to say. It's just interesting to me. WWE wanted me to sign something saying that I left on my own "to pursue other interests" in exchange for a lump sum of cash. I have a problem with that because that is a lie. I didn't sign. Tasha (I think) did and I'm assuming that she got the same type of release. Supposedly, everyone is supposed to agree that that's the story, that she "left to pursue other interests" right? However, they are still portraying both of us in the same light as before. Guess her agreement didn't really mean anything after all. I'm glad that I didn't sign anything because I can speak my mind. I'm not going to take hush money because I think that I owe it to anyone that is considering getting involved in the field of professional wrestling so that they can make an informed decision. I honestly had no clue what I was getting myself into and I'm sure there are others that don't. I'm going to start posting some of my stories here so stay tuned.

For starters, most of the stuff that has been said about me is untrue. It's pretty annoying and I for one am sick of it! For instance, all the missing practice crap happened before I got there, however I was blamed for it too and typecast as one of "the Playboy models" that was not showing up to practice, etc. Pretty easy to place me into that box and label me that. I have blonde hair and big boobs right so therefore I must be skipping practice with Tasha. Whatever!!!! And the funny thing was at least when I was there, Tasha missed practice to go to doctor's appointments or because she got sick. It's not like she was skipping just because she thought she was better than everyone and didn't have to go, as she has been portrayed. A lot of these stories couldn't be further from the truth and I'm wondering where the writers get their info from. As for me being flaky and skipping practice, I'm not about that and anybody that knows me could tell you that. I know better than to do something stupid like that. I know that there were a lot of people that didn't like us there. But if you think about it, there is a big cut-throat competition thing going on behind the scenes that most people would not understand unless they were there. It put any experience that I ever had in high school to shame!

This is a short version of our story at OVW. As for our injuries, everyone had practice for 6 hours a day. Then Melina, Tasha, & I stayed after for an additional (2+ hour) practice. For starters, I think that WWE meant well. I think that they were trying to get us ready quicker but it backfired and unfortunately Tasha and I were the casualties of all that. I feel the need to speak out since nobody is telling our side and I'm sure not that many people truly know what we went through. In the beginning, some of the guy wrestlers that worked on WWE held our extra practice for us. They got called up and then Ivory and Jacqueline came down. Then they held the beginners practices for us. On our first day with them, Ivory told us (speaking to Tasha and I) in front of other people, "Girls like you two fuck your way up to the top!". That was probably one of the most humiliating and demoralizing moments of my life right there. To be told that by somebody that you respected for their acheivements in women's wrestling is just plain harsh! She also told all of us (Melina, Tasha, & I) as she pointed to each of us, "I don't want you taking my spot, I don't want you taking my spot, and I certainly don't want you taking my spot!". Then they'd bump us like crash test dummies. Tasha would ask me if they were being extra rough with me. She felt that they were with her (as she had no experience wrestling before and had nothing to compare it to). I did feel like they were being a bit rough compared to WOW, but in WOW, the emphasis was in making everything LOOK really aggressive when in fact it was a super light touch, so I could have been wrong. She told me that when she was doing her snap mares, Jackie was actually forcing her to do her flips by her hair and neck. And on the hair beals she felt as if Jackie was grabbing and clawing her scalp like an eagle. I don't even want to hear it so let me just clue you in. Tasha is one tough chick! She is a professional kickboxer. She could probably beat the crap out of any of the chicks there but that's a whole 'nother story right there. Let's just say, I'd have my money on her over any of the female talent on WWE. And I wrestled before on WOW, so it's not like I am a "typical Playboy model". I was one of the few girls that did not get injured on that show (until the very last match at the PPV in which I sprained my AC). I'm not afraid to break a nail, so let's not even go there. I just wanted to make myself clear in case any of the stereotypers are reading my rant. Anyway, back to my story... I watched as Tasha was made to flip bump over and over and over... landing incorrectly and awkwardly onto her ankles each time. It seemed pretty obvious to me that something was not right, yet they had her keep repeating the action over and over. Tasha woke up the next day with swollen ankles. When she said that she was hurt and wanted to sit out, she was ridiculed by Ivory as if she was faking an injury. Then a few days later, after a visit to the doctors office, it turned out that she had sprained both ankles and tore ligaments in her foot. Tasha was excused from participating in the practices with a doctors' note and she wore a big black boot on one foot. While she was out injured, I continued on with my "beginners classes" every day after regular class, even though my neck pain was getting worse and worse as each day passed. Finally Tasha convinced me to go see a doctor. I, like a lot of people, felt pressured to not disclose that I was injured for fear of getting in trouble. I was scared to get fired. I was also fearful that they would ridicule me and treat me as if I were faking an injury after what I had seen happen with Tasha. I finally gave in because I was in way too much pain and the neck is not something to fool around with. The doctor excused me from practice too and Tasha and I were on the sidelines. Melina had a minor injury to her shoulder, however she played it off and practiced anyway. I think she finally saw the doctor too and took a few days off but went right back to it as if nothing were wrong even though I know that was not the case because I lived with her. That is what you are encouraged to do (regardless of how you feel) and I guess that is just the way it is. And I guess she did the right thing, after all, she still has a job and Tasha and I do not. All of us getting injured, along with Tank and a few others that I can't recall right now was causing the official WWE doctor to wonder what was going on over at OVW and they called WWE to inquire about our practices. That's when practice times got cut and Rip was fired. I can't prove that this was for sure the reason why, but I heard that it was.

I sat on the sidelines for a while at OVW, as did Tasha. Finally, Tasha was dealing with some personal family issues at home and decided that she could not be away any longer. Personally, I think she decided that getting treated like crap on a daily basis was not for her and she bailed. Whatever the reason was, I think it took WWE by surprise. They flew her out to Texas for a show and there was talks of bringing her up. Then a week later she was released. I stayed and stuck it out but part of me wishes I had left when she did. I was told by some of the other wrestlers that I should get back in the ring and not let too much time pass or they would fire me. One of the wrestlers said that he would "hook me up with all the pain killers that I needed" so that I could make it through training and get on tv. I decided not to go this route even though I really wanted to get back in the ring. I was working hard, studying tapes in my free time, and watching all the practices. I was getting antsy because I wanted to try out all of the stuff I was learning. However, I knew that there was no way that I would have been able to get back in there and start bumping. I could have done it if I wanted to be a parapalegic for the rest of my life but that would not be my idea of fun. I made a decision that I would listen to my body and the doctors and if they fired me, they fired me. Oh well... big deal. What's the worst that could happen. I go back to my house in California and spend time with the people that love and care about me. Yeah, it was my dream and all to wrestle... but spending the rest of my life in a wheelchair was not a part of that dream. You have to weigh if the risk is worth the reward. So I waited. And sure enough, they were right, shortly after my third cortisone shot, I was released. And now, I'm almost sure that I need surgery. I have one more test to go to find out for sure but I am in a lot of pain every day and that's a full time job in itself I tell ya! I just wish I had known more of what I was getting myself into in the first place. I'll give the experience some credit... I definitely learned a lot out there!

More to come...

XoXoX,
Bobbi B.
http://www.BobbiBillard.com

Muscle Mag

I am in this month issue of Muscle Mag (August 2004). You can find me on page 146 posing in a bikini. Pick up a copy and check it out if you have a chance.

XoXoX,
Bobbi B.
http://www.BobbiBillard.com

Saturday, June 5, 2004

Oh my... myelogram!

I'm super bummed about my injury! I was really looking forward to learning more about wrestling and now I am almost sure that I need surgery. Even though I was one of the few that did not get injured on W.O.W. (until the very last event for WOW where I sprained my shoulder - AC), our practices were only 4 hours a day, 6 days a week. I guess that my poor neck couldn't handle the 8 hours of straight bumping like a crash test dummy every day, 5-6 days a week. Not many could. Some of us were dropping off like flies. It sucks because I really really wanted to wrestle... Anyway, I'll be writing more about my experiences soon since I am sure that a lot of you are curious. I'd like everyone to know what goes down at OVW and what the life of a WWE developmental wrestler is like.

I've been trying my best to recover from my neck injury. It's tough to go from being such an active person to being in pain every day 24/7. My doctor has ordered some tests. One is a myelogram and the other is an EMG (ncy). I went in for the myelogram on Wednesday. I was a wreck up until the test! Stupid me... I was trying to research what the test was all about and ran across this site: http://neuro-mancer.mgh.harvard.edu/ubb/Forum259/HTML/015379.html
Stupid myelogram from hell website! That site scared the shit out of me! I barely slept the night before, and then when it came time to do the myelogram, I almost chickened out because of all that crap that I read. I have to admit, it is scary... even if you aren't reading a site full of experiences of myelograms from hell. When you read what they are going to do to you (take a sample of your spinal fluid and inject you with dye), it's enough to cause some major anxiety! I just hope I do ok during the next test (EMG).

I've been recooping from the myelo ok. I had to lay flat for 24 hours so that the dye can flush out of your body. Actually, I had to lay flat longer (almost 2 full days) because everytime that I stood up, I would get horrible migraines. The only issue that I have now is that my lower back hurts. I feel a little cramping/pain back there, plus it is really sore where they stuck the needle in me. I just hope that the back pain goes away and it is not permanent. That's the last thing I need... back AND neck pain! I'll write more later. My neck is hurting me too bad to type any more.

XoXoX,
Bobbi B.
http://www.BobbiBillard.com

Wednesday, May 12, 2004

Goin' back to Cali...

Hey all,

I am back in Cali. For those that didn't know that I had left, I was in Kentucky on a developmental contract with W.W.E. (wrestling... you know, formerly W.W.F.). Anyway, I'm still getting settled in... I have a ton of crap to deal with getting moved and all that along with going to tons of doctors appointments, etc. but I thought I would pop in and say, "Hello". Here's what I've been up to these days...

I've been playing around with a new site that I like and I thought I would let you know about it. I am often asked to share some more "normal, every day life" pics so I found a way. I bought a new camera phone and have been uploading my pics.

Check 'em out and let me know what you think. :)

And by the way, my groovy new avitar was made by someone who said that they were a fan of me on this wrestling board that I've been lurking around at. I liked it so much that I decided to borrow it for a few. Thanks go out to Antonia if you are reading this! :) I wish that I knew how to make animated gifs like this!

XoXoX,
Bobbi B.
http://www.BobbiBillard.com
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/BobbiBillard

Saturday, January 17, 2004

The Wisdom of Andy Rooney

Andy Rooney on Monica Lewinsky:
Monica turned 28 this week. It seems like only yesterday she was crawling around the White House on her hands and knees.

Andy Rooney on Vegetarians:
"Vegetarian - that's an old Indian word meaning 'lousy hunter'"

Andy Rooney On Prisoners:
Did you know that it costs forty-thousand dollars a year to house each prisoner? Jeez, for forty-thousand bucks a piece I'll take a few prisoners into my house. I live in Los Angeles. I
already have bars on the windows. I don't think we should give free room and board to criminals. I think they should have to run twelve hours a day on a treadmill and generate electricity. And if they don't want to run, they can rest in the chair that's hooked up to the generator.

Andy Rooney On Fabric Softener:
My wife uses fabric softener. I never knew what that stuff was for. Then I noticed women coming up to me, sniffing, then saying under their breath, "Married!" and walking away. Fabric Softeners are how our wives mark their territory. We can take off the ring, but it's hard to get that April fresh scent out of your clothes.

Andy Rooney On Morning Differences:
Men and women are different in the morning. We men wake up aroused in the morning. We can't help it. We just wake up and we want you. And the women are thinking, 'How can he want me the way I look in the morning?' It's because we can't see you. We have no blood anywhere near our optic nerve.

Andy Rooney On Phone-In-Polls:
You know those shows where people call in and vote on different issues? Did you ever notice there's always like 18% that say "I don't know." It costs 90 cents to call up and vote and they're voting "I don't know." Honey, I feel very strongly about this. Give me the phone. (Says Into
Phone) "I DON'T KNOW!" (Hangs up looking proud.) Sometimes you have to stand up for what you believe you're not sure about" This guy probably calls up phone sex girls for $2.95 to say, "I'm not in the mood."

Andy Rooney On Cripes:
My wife's from the Midwest. Very nice people there. Very wholesome. They use words like 'Cripes'. 'For Cripe's sake.' Who would that be; Jesus Cripe's? The son of 'Gosh' of the church of 'Holy Moly'? I'm not making fun of it. You think I wanna burn in 'Heck'?

Andy Rooney On Grandma:
My grandmother has a bumper sticker on her car that says, 'Sexy Senior Citizen.' You don't want to think of your grandmother that way, do you? Out entering wet shawl contests. Makes you wonder where she got that dollar she gave you for your birthday.

Andy Rooney On Answering Machines:
Did you ever hear one of these corny, positive messages on someone's answering machine? "Hi, it's a great day and I'm out enjoying it right now. I hope you are too. The thought for the day is: "Share the love." Beep. "Uh, yeah...this is the VD clinic calling....Speaking of being positive, your test results are back. Stop sharing the love."