Monday, July 26, 2004

Out of Commission For A While... I Will Miss You!

Sarah, Bill, or Vee should be able to answer any of your questions regarding my progress in case you are curious. I need to get to bed, I am flying out early tomorrow so I really have to get some sleep!

Here's the latest... I just got back late Thursday night and I've been hurting all weekend. It was a long hard trip! I left Wednesday and slept at a hotel. Then I woke up early Thursday morning, packed all of my stuff and checked out of the hotel, then went to Dr. Youngblood's office, then I went to the airport to return back to OC. Now, I turn around and fly back on Monday (tomorrow morning) for my pre-op appointment and then Tuesday's my big surgery! That was the soonest possible surgery that he had available and I took it! Mine!

Dr. Youngblood is THE best doctor ever! He had the most extensive tests that I have ever had and he spent A LOT of time going over all of my medical records AND explaining them ALL to me. He left no leaf uncovered. He's awesome! I couldn't say enough nice things about the guy. I am totally confident that he is the man for the job. I have complete faith in him, and to be honest, I am not in the slightest bit worried about him operating on me. I have given him my complete trust that he will be able to fix me like new and I have no doubts whatsoever that he will deliver!

For all those that are curious what we decided on, in short, I am doing a 2 level fusion in my neck at c5/c6 and c6/c7 levels with bmp (Bone Morphogenic Protein), cadaver bone, and cages. WWE has come through for me with all of this and it is much appreciated! I will post again once I am able to. I doubt there will be a computer in the hospital, but then again, in this day and age, ya never know. You know how I am, wild horses couldn't drag me away from my computer but I have to take care of my health which is what I am doing. I will try my best to keep you updated on my progress the soonest chance that I get. I'll see ya' all when I am feeling better! :)

Take care,
Bobbi B.

Sunday, July 18, 2004

The endless mission of trying to "Get Well Soon"...

Hey everyone,

I just wanted to let you all know that I received a bunch of cards and even a couple gifts today from my PO Box. Thanks so much! You guys really helped to cheer me up!

As for my condition, here's an update for you. I sent my mylegram films today to WWE. I'm scared! I had to pay $15 a sheet for those medical records so it cost me $315 total to get them. Not to mention, I had to pay $73 to ship it out to them next day air. Nothing like having a bunch of expenses when you can't even work eh?

They told me not to worry and assured me that if I didn't get my medical records back, they would reimburse me. Still, I don't understand why they couldn't call the doctor and purchase a copy for their own records. I also didn't understand why they wanted me to send the records to them instead of having me send them directly to Dr. Youngblood and therefore cut out the middle man. I asked and was told that they will send them in their packaging, that way I get preferential treatment since it is coming from them. I am a bit skeptical but what the heck. Worst case scenario, they lose them or whatever, I go out and buy them again. It's only money right? I'll make more... Forgive me for being so untrusting, I guess I have some major trust issues when it comes to WWE. I was always told that everything is a work... So I'm always on my guard! I sent them off anyway. They are (hopefully, as I was told) sending my films to Dr. Youngblood. They tell me he is a straight shooter and will answer my question about whether I should go in surgically through the back or the front of my neck. Then I will decide which place is the best to go have my surgery and I'm going in.

And you know what? The strangest thing happened... I had a good couple of days. I mean really good! So good that I thought some miracle transpired and that I was fixed. Too bad it didn't last. I've had a rough few days since the 2 good ones! I don't mean to sound unappreciative but those 2 days were not long enough. I can't wait until I feel like my old self again. I need to go lay down now because it feels like an axe murderer is going to town on me again.

Thanks again for everything... the cards (too many people to mention and you know who you are), the stuffed frog (Thanks Katty) and lollypops, and the bath stuff (Thanks Cedric... I <3 Lavendar! Yay! I can't wait to relax in the bath... now if only I had a bigger bathtub! Someday!).

Bobbi B.

More pics from my hell-ish weekend...

I am paying the price now but I think it was way worth it after seeing this latest batch of pics.

Pretty in pink...
Which picture is your favorite and why?

Bobbi B.

Saturday, July 17, 2004

I caught the writing bug...

I don't know what's wrong with me. Maybe it's because I'm so stir-crazy because I sit home every day and don't leave the house due to my injury. Here's the latest...

Thanks to jesterstear, I found out about this cool website where you can list your DVD collection online. I think this site is a great idea! If I want to have a friend come over and watch movies with me while I am recovering from my surgery, they can look online and pick out what they want to watch. You too can check out my collection by clicking on this link:

Here is another nice art card that I received thanks to Dereck...
Thank you Dereck!

And don't forget that I'm doing a live chat tomorrow (Sunday, July 18th at 5 pm Pacific, 8 pm Eastern). The live chat will be held on In order to chat with me, go to that site tomorrow (Sunday the 18th) at 5 pm Pacific (8pm Eastern) and there will be a chatroom link on the menu. Just click there to meet me in the chatroom. Please come by if you aren't busy. It would mean the world to me.

Bobbi B.

Thursday, July 15, 2004

Old stories that I haven't told before...

I haven't really talked about the death of my father, so I thought that I'd share a few stories with you guys. On my profile on, under the "Heros" section, I have my father listed there and I explain that he died of cancer when I was 19 years old. Every once in a while, I get an email from someone that has been through the same thing. So today, I got into a conversation with this guy whose mom had died when he was the same age. We got to sharing stories and I shared with him what one of the saddest times was for me (other than when he died). Here is what I wrote...

It's hard and something that you really never get over. The worst part was when my sister got married. I was a bridesmaid and I had to walk past this table and it had a bunch of photos of my dad on it. It was kind of like a shrine. Why'd they have to put all those pictures there on a table that I had to walk by before I had to come out as a bridesmaid in the wedding? I wasn't prepared for it at all. I started crying as soon as I saw it and could not stop no matter how hard I tried to compose myself. My grandfather (my dad's father) took my dad's place in walking my sister down the aisle. I cried the whole entire wedding because it saddened me to think that my dad couldn't be there to walk her down the aisle and then also he would never be able to walk me down the aisle someday either. People must have thought I was a wackjob crying like that. Especially since they might not have known the real reason why I was so sad. It's embarrassing to cry in front of a bunch of family and people that you don't know for over an hour straight! Let me just tell you! Anyway, I know what it's like and if you ever want anyone to talk to about anything, feel free to message me.

Then he told me how he had found out that his mom had died and I told him the story about how I found out. You guys will trip out on this one...

I had a friend staying over and my sister and mom kept calling me. I finally woke up to the phone ringing over and over and they said that my dad was "actively dying" so hurry up if I wanted to say goodbye. I forget what "actively dying" exactly means. We had my dad staying at home under hospice care because he didn't want to be in the hospital when he died. "Actively dying" was the term that the hospice nurse used. So anyway, my friend drove my car over there because I was crying and would have been a danger on the road. I told her to drive fast... like Turbo style... Mario Andretti... Step on it! Ya know? When we got to my neighborhood, there was a construction company called Pac West Construction working on the cable. I guess we had driven too fast through the neighborhood so when I got there, they came to my house and told me off. I was crying and I told them that my dad was dying. I was nice at first but they proceeded to argue with me. Finally I told them again, "Listen, my dad is in there dying! I don't have time for this shit or else I won't be able to say goodbye to him!". I ran inside and slammed the door. When I finally got there, he was already dead. Apparently my excuse wasn't good enough for those construction workers because they called the cable company to complain again. We got a phone call from the cable company and they were pissed off about my friend's erratic driving. My sister answered the phone and she explained the situation. And, not to mention, I wasn't even the one driving the car and my friend had dropped me off and left so why were they harrassing us? I don't get it! I guess Cox Cable didn't believe that my father had just died either because guess what the cable company did.... They called the cops. So we hear a knock at the door and there was a police officer at the front door. I was like WTF! Would you like to come in and see the dead body? Come on! Leave us the fuck alone! My father just died ok???? The cop that showed up was very embarrassed and hopefully he gave that cable company a piece of his mind. I mean how fucking rude is that? I told them my dad was dying, what did they think I was lying and faking a bunch of tears? If that was the case, then I would have deserved an Oscar. Give me a break! Lame! Pac West Construction, fuck you and your rude, insensitive construction workers!

Wow! I feel better now that I got that off of my chest!

My mom chuckled later about the whole incident and made a comment like, "Bobbi, you are always bringing the drama! Even on the day your dad has died. It must be that Fire sign!". I think, at that moment, my mom finally understood the way things are for me sometimes. I don't know what it is about me, but I have always had people in my life go out of their way to fuck with me. In all fairness though, I've had a ton of people go out of their way to do super nice things for me too. So I guess it all evens out in the end.

When I was growing up, my mom couldn't help but wonder if I was doing something to cause it. I think after this situation, she understood things a little better.

Bobbi B.

Wednesday, July 14, 2004

WWE is coming through...

Woohoo! I'm a seeing is believing type girl. Always have been, always will be. I have too much baggage from people not doing what they say they will. That's just me though. It's nothing personal, I just don't blindly trust ANYTHING or ANYONE for that matter, until proven otherwise! So, as you all know, I've still been waiting to get my surgery. Here's the hold up. I've been confused by the various appointments that I have had so far. One doctor wanted to go in through the back (but they say it is riskier and might not necessarily fix my problem), the other doctors wanted to go in through the front and do 2 level fusion (which requires 6 months - a year recovery time). I have heard a lot of good things about Dr. Youngblood and I was hoping that he would give me the final say-so on my surgery. He's supposed to be the best of the best so I trust his opinion. Well... I've been waiting to get in to see him and I got the call today that WWE is sending me out to see Youngblood on the 22nd for a consultation. Yay! I have an appointment and am finally moving forward on my road to recovery. Thank you WWE for coming through for me! :)

And Antonia sent me the coolest artwork / good luck card. She is the sweetest ever! I can't believe how lucky I am to have her as a friend. She has always been so sweet to me even though I'm probably not the most popular girl on the wrestling boards she frequents. She stands up for me on there and that's probably not the easiest thing to do. It reminds me of my best friend Brandi when I was growing up. We are still friends to this day. She stood by me in grade school when I was made fun of all the time. Yeah, I was called "monkey lips", etc. Looking back it's funny now but I do appreciate the fact that she was friends with a girl who wasn't cool to be friends with. I admire that courage in a person and am thankful for it. Back to Antonia though, I wanted to share her card with you all because I love it and I also am a big fan of her graphic art. So here it is...

Reminder! I have my first chat since I went off to OVW back in January. The chat is scheduled for Sunday, July 18th at 5 pm Pacific (8 pm Eastern). The Live Chat will be held on In order to chat with me, go to that site Sunday the 18th at 5 pm Pacific (8pm Eastern) and there will be a chatroom link on the menu. Just click there to meet me in the chatroom. I want you all to be there if you can because I miss chatting with all of you a lot! I would feel a whole heck of a lot more comfortable if I had some friends in there so I'm not throwing myself to the wolves that are judging me as being some "bimbo Playboy model" that didn't appreciate the opportunity and wasn't tough enough to take it.

Bobbi B.

My friend joined our happy family...


Please add my friend Virginia Marie and tell her that I sent you. I suggested that she join LiveJournal and she did. I'm so excited! :)

A lil' background on my friend and how we met... I met Virginia Marie while I was out in Kentucky on that developmental deal. Before I moved out there, I didn't know a single soul. Well I did, but they were girls that I was going to be working with, so I was scared that it might be drama if I got too close to any of them. You can imagine how it might be when you put girls in a position of competing (even though I didn't see it as a competition, I wanted everyone to do well, but I didn't know what they were about yet) for fame and fortune, so I was a little bit cautious. I wanted to meet people outside of the whole wrestling world, so I turned to one of my favorite websites and changed my location and zip code to be one of the zip codes of Louisville, Kentucky. I started "shopping for some new friends", as Virginia Marie likes to say. I added some people living in Louisville and then finally I made my big move. For a while, I was out there and didn't have a computer. I guess Virginia had seen my profile and added me as a friend, but like I said, I didn't have a computer, so I didn't get to approve her until after we met and I got settled in. So... one night, I went out with some of the wrestlers, and this one wrestler named Beast worked at this club as a bouncer. Low and behold, one of the bartenders there was Ms. Virginia Marie. I guess she recognized me from being on and remembered that I had posted on my profile that I was moving out there. She asked Beast to make the introduction, and the rest is history. We were instant friends! It was nice to have a neutral friend out there that I could turn to with all the frustrating stuff that I was going through at OVW and not have to worry that she was just being my friend to get inside my head and eventually screw me over to ensure that I wouldn't get on tv before her. And I must say, Virginia has been an awesome friend to me. She took me to the airport once at some god awful hour one night and even picked me up. She even offered (since I am notorious for not wanting to ask for ANYTHING). I could tell you all the things that make her special, but it would take me forever! She's just a great person! Smart! Beautiful! Super Nice! A Good Listener! Caring! Down to Earth! Etc., Etc., Etc. I want to help her out in whatever way that I can. After all, I'd do anything for that girl! Just ask her about the night that I stood up for her when some guy spilled a drink on her and then was a total dick about it! LOL!

Can somebody please show her how to add friends on here. I was finding it hard to explain it to her but maybe somebody else could do a better job.

I can't sleep! Damn insomnia! Calgon take me away! LOL! It would really help if some pain pill could take my stabbing pains away and make me a bit sleepy too. I couldn't for the life of me get comfortable in bed no matter how hard I tried so you all are stuck with my ramblings.... Until next time! :)

Bobbi B.

Tuesday, July 13, 2004

Another new photo...

Here's another new photo that I took this weekend. This was taken by Bruno Talledo of

Grr Baby Grr!

In other news, I'm doing a live chat on Sunday, July 18th at 5 pm Pacific (8 pm Eastern). The live chat will be held on In order to chat with me, go to that site Sunday the 18th at 5 pm Pacific (8pm Eastern) and there will be a chatroom link on the menu. Just click there to meet me in the chatroom. I hope to see you all there! :)

Bobbi B.

Monday, July 12, 2004

New Bobbi Billard Photo...

I dragged my butt to a photoshoot this weekend. My concern was to film enough stuff to have updates for my site while I am out for this surgery. I had no choice but to prepare myself. I did it all for you guys! :)

It was a rough weekend! It's very hard to model and hide the fact that you are in a lot of pain. Thank goodness for my assistant LoriDawn, my friend Virginia Marie, and my video guy. They packed all of my stuff for me and even carried it all in to the locations for me. I couldn't have done it without their help. Also, I let the photogs know the drill so that they would take it easy on me. I can't be swingin' from the chandeliers in my condition. I've forgotten how much work it is to prepare for these shoots but the finished product is definitely worth it in the end. I'm certainly paying the price today. I knew I would be though. Let's put it this way, I'm still in my pjs and I woke up around 1 pm. Thank god for pizza delivery! :)

My friend Virginia shot some KILLER stuff. At one of the locations, there was this window with bars on it 10 feet in the air. She hung from the window in my 6 inch knee high stiletto boots. Her shots came out awesome! I couldn't help but wish that I was able to do stuff like that right now. That's one of the things that I love about her. Like me, she's willing to go to great lengths to get the perfect shot. And she nailed it! I can't wait to see the rest of her pics.

Here's one of the first photos that I have received. This photo is different than anything that I've ever shot before. The photographer was a really funky creative artsy guy with great style. It's my first time working with him but I plan on shooting with him more often. His name is Michael Vincent and you can check out his amazing work at I shot a bunch of really awesome stuff this weekend! I wore some cool new outfits that I had bought in Kentucky in hopes of wearing them on OVW television and WWE someday. It's amazing how much killer stuff I found in Kentucky (of all places)... my friend Virginia, bad ass outfits to shoot in, and even the same shoes for my dog "Gucci" that Paris Hilton's dog "Tinkerbell" wore on the first Simple Life.

More photos to come...

Fuck Modeling! I wanna' be a Tagger when I grow up! ;)

Let me know what you think.

Bobbi B.