Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Life In Hollywood

I am going to freak out! Some idiot outside has been laying on the horn of his or her car for a good five minutes straight now and it's not a car alarm. Nope! Whomever it is is typing out some sort of evil annoying morse code on their horn.

If this continues... I'm going to have a headache this big....

And it will have Excedrin written all over it!

Seriously... Ummm dude... do you friggin' mind? I'm trying to think so I can blog here!

Geez! Sometimes I feel like turning into a superhero... like Tank Girl for instance.

Although, I would definitely need to be armed with a pink paintball gun in addition to my big bazookas!

Living in Hollywood is a trip! Just the other day, some dude jumped off our apartment building a few weeks ago, not once but TWICE... and lived to tell about it! I'm seriously not kidding. I wish I was though... Crazy sheeyat eh?

They say the third time is a charm? Let's hope this poor guy learned his lesson!

My roommate and I each placed two separate orders. One from a delivery grocery store and one from a restaurant. We received a phone call from the first delivery guy and supposedly the cops wouldn't let him up into the building because "there was a situation" going down. My roommate responded with, "What does that mean? So if I go out there, am I going to get shot or something?" LOL!

The delivery driver didn't know exactly what "the situation" was but my roommate is a bad-ass and she went down there to get her order anyway. I wasn't surprised at all!

She came back and told me that there was a guy threatening to jump off the building. LOVELY! I hoped that they would at least help talk the guy out of it in time so that I didn't have to deal with the same thing when my food came. I was in my PJs and not feeling all that well that day. That's the whole reason why my lazy ass called for delivery in the first place. The last thing I wanted to do was jump through hoops to get something to eat.

If I had wanted to do all of that, I would have gone and gotten the food myself.

Alas, I had no such luck. Sure enough, my food arrived and same shit! I had to go down and get it myself. Grrr! I changed out of my PJs into something more appropriate to wear outside of the house. I can hear the peanut gallery now... *Boo! Hiss!*

Well... The last thing I would want to do is show up in something skimpy and cause the delivery guy to have a heart attack or something!

This is a fried doughnut burger. Yes, it really exists! And guaran-fuckin-teed to cause a heart attack too!

And as a side note: I'm sorry to ruin your fantasy guys... contrary to popular belief, the scripts that they have in porno movies are usually not based upon actual events.

I really should answer the door like this when they deliver pizzas to me...
However, I really don't care to know if you have an extra large sausage dude! TMI = Too Much Information!

Anyway, while waiting for the elevator, I overheard some chick on her cell phone telling her friend the newest LA gossip scoop... She hung up the phone and I got into the elevator with her. She proceeded to tell me what you and everyone out there in cyber-land are dying to know... What the hell happened?

I guess the suicidal guy ended up jumping down 2 stories inside our building's courtyard. After the first jump, he got up and then went to the pool area. And get this people!!! To add insult to injury, he proceeded to jump off the building AGAIN down to the street below. This guy has got to have a guardian angel in addition to having nine lives or something.

If I ever find out who this guy is, I'm taking him to Vegas with me...

He rolled the dice and lived through both jumps. Supposedly the paramedics came and were attaching stuff to him while he was trying to rip it off of him. Total fruit loop I tell you! She said he must have been on drugs. I agree... I just wonder what the hell he took to make him lose his marbles like that! Anyway... Poor guy! I hope he gets well soon 'cuz that's going to leave a mark! :(

Welcome to Hollywood!

And if that story wasn't bad enough, it's even more fabulous here when the local bar closes every night. Sure enough, like clockwork, at around 2 am every single night, the freaks come out at night. Yelling and screaming their heads off like a herd of dogs in heat. I feel like putting on a bikini, going out onto the balcony, grabbing a megaphone and yelling, "Let me know how all of that catcalling and yelling is working out for you people! No wonder ya'll are going home alone!" LOL!

But my megaphone would have to be PINK...

...to match my paintball gun (of course). *giggle*

Yay! The beeping has finally stopped. And with that, I am out. I'll be in touch with Adventures in Hollywood Part Deux once I have another interesting story to tell you. :)

Much Love,
Bobbi Billard

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Fuck Spam!

If I get another spam email in my inbox, I am going to lose my marbles! I’m sorry to vent but I’m having a really bad spam day and I just had to go through and delete about 300 of these from my inbox and my comments on MySpace. Is it just me or do you guys also receive spam after spam from people trying to sell you everything under the sun?

For starters, don’t you realize that spamming will cause you to be fined heavily once they catch your ass? And if you are ballsy enough to do it on MySpace, they will delete your profile. It says clear as day in the Terms of Service here that you cannot use your myspace for commerce without expressed permission from MySpace. Spammers don’t give a fuck that annoy the crap out of you by constantly emailing and myspacing you. They don’t care that they are wasting your valuble free time. Time that you could instead be spending with friends and/or family members, voluntering to make this world a better place, or even working to keep the lights on in your apartment... No! To the spammers, you are just another dollar sign.

You should think twice when joining the get rich quick schemes on the internet which urge you to spam contacts on your mailing list in order to make a buck.

Sorry ya’ll! That’s my rant of the day. Please please, for the love of God, quit spamming me! I promise that I’ll return the favor.

I’m off to take a nice hot bubble bath now. Calgon, take me away!

Bobbi Billard

Thursday, January 24, 2008

In the name of Jesus... Please read this! :)

I'm caught in the middle of a religious debate. I recently received a message from someone who told me that a preacher was going around slandering my name. I went to YouTube and sure enough, there was the video of Pastor G. Craige Lewis from EX Ministries. In the clip he talks about a religious singer named Fred Hammond and blasts him for having ME as a friend on his MySpace. He says my name, "Bobbi Billard" and calls me a "porn star". Check it out...

For those that don't know already, I am NOT a porn star. A porn star is someone that has sexual intercourse on film and makes XXX movies. To each his or her own but I have never done that. Granted, I have done Playboy style nudity during my career and some people equate nudity with porn. I do not agree. I think the human body is a beautiful thing. There are many works of religious artwork that have nude figures (some is even featured in the great cathedrals all over the world). To quote a friend of mine, "if Nudity was so horrible perhaps God should have had us all born in clothing..LOL". Regardless, Pastor Lewis did not do his research before making this video about me. And apparently he completely missed the following passages in his bible...

Romans 14:10 But why dost thou judge thy brother? or why dost thou set at nought thy brother? for we shall all stand before the judgment seat of Christ.

In other words... But you, why do you make yourself your brother's judge? or again, why have you no respect for your brother? because we will all have to take our place before God as our judge.

Romans 14:13 Let us not therefore judge one another any more: but judge this rather, that no man put a stumblingblock or an occasion to fall in his brother's way.

In other words... Then let us not be judges of one another any longer: but keep this in mind, that no man is to make it hard for his brother, or give him cause for doubting.

Luke 6:37 Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven:

In other words... Be not judges of others, and you will not be judged: do not give punishment to others, and you will not get punishment yourselves: make others free, and you will be made free:

Luke 6:41 And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but perceivest not the beam that is in thine own eye?

In other words... And why do you take note of the grain of dust in your brother's eye, but take no note of the bit of wood which is in your eye?

Exodus 20:16 Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.

Pretty self explanatory right there.

I do not believe that people have the right to go around condemning people and saying whether or not Jesus would accept them. It is not their place. I prefer Jesus of Zion to the guy in this video. If you have ever heard his WWJSNL show on NowLive.com, you would see what I mean. He teaches about LOVE, not hate. Check him out sometime and add him to your myspace.

And make sure you add Fred Hammond to your myspace. I am a fan. Here's a video of him responding to people that criticize whom he accepts on his myspace. I applaud him for standing up for what he believes in and not backing down to the pressure from people like Pastor Lewis.

Thoughts? Questions? Concerns? Post em after the beep... *BEEP*

Bobbi Billard

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

My Bobbi Billard LIVE Show is moving to Thursday nights!

I just wanted to let everyone know that my show will be moving from it's usual Sunday night slot to Thursday nights at 8 pm Pacific (11 pm Eastern). You can catch me LIVE on the air and webcam right after the Adrianne Curry Show. Please stop by our shows and check it out.

Click Here to Chat Live 24/7 with this show

Bobbi Billard