Thursday, September 29, 2005

Monday, September 19, 2005

Getting my shit together...

I had a contractor come over today to give me an estimate on a bunch of home repairs that I need. My house needs some MAJOR work. I need new paint and new carpet. Plus, on my bathroom faucet, the lever that you use to switch from running water to turning the shower on is all calcified or something. It is permanently stuck in the shower position right now... or I can switch it to bath mode if I pound the crap out of it with a big shampoo bottle or something. Then I better have some muscle over at the house to ask a favor if I want to get it back into shower mode or I am Screwed with a capital S! So Rent-A-Man time it is for me.... FOR SURE!

Then let's see here, what else is wrong with my house? Oh yeah, two holes in the ceiling from when the condensation line to my air conditioner broke and it leaked water into the ceiling over my office. That is still not fixed and it's been ages since that happened! And yeah, great on the allergies, right? To have two holes with dust from my attic exposed in the area where I spend 99.999 % of my time. Today we put some make-shift Mac Gyver style covers with masking tape over them to seal out the dust until this shit finally gets fixed.

And the last thing that is wrong with my house is the guest shower. The handle for the cold water will spin and spin and accomplish nothing. No cold showers for any guest of my house! And that's EXACTLY what most of 'em might need after spending a day with me, right? Hahaha!

Anyway, I'm doing my camshow. Mike is helping me approve my friends on MySpace right now. I had over 220 pages of adds piled up! Fuck me gently with a chainsaw! I guess that's what I get for being a busy B! Nice of him to do that for me so I could have time to write in my journal today. Oh! And I'm about to do my camshow right now with NO MAKEUP! His suggestion! Let's see what you guys think... I'm curious! And a bit scared! This is a first for me in a long long time! See you guys on cam in a few. :)

XoXoX,
BB

Friday, September 9, 2005

Model Drama!

This is going to be a long one today so please bear with me... I have a lot to get off of my triple D chest! Hehehe!

The exterminator woke me up this afternoon. It was 1 pm and I was still in bed. Bad Bobbi Baaadd!! Two nights of staying up until 4 am working on the computer have gotten me on quite the Vampire Hours! Anyway, he was nice enough to bring me two traps for my ant problem and he also offered to come in and put my face plates back on all of my light switches and electrical sockets. He told me that he had looked up my website and he liked it. Smart guy! I hadn't even mentioned that I had one I don't think. :)

A few days ago, I was at the mall and I bought a bunch of pretty smelling lotions at Bath & Body Works. I also did a little shopping at Sephora that day. I went there specifically to buy this hair treatment that I was reading about in one of the magazines I was thumbing thru while laying out by Jenn's pool. Well, I finally got to try this new stuff today and I like it a lot. Money well spent! Yay! My hair is very silky and shiny now.

After doing my beauty treatment, I worked on the computer. I've been trying to catch up with my emails. I have 122 in one email box, 250 in another, plus a bunch of posts to go thru on the forum. I just never seem to get done with my work. It's kind of frustrating. I think that with most jobs, you get the satisfaction of having completed something. With me it's never ending. And it doesn't help matters any that my assistant can't work for me anymore because she got too busy with her other jobs. I'm too busy to even be able to find a new assistant. Grrr!

Anyway, I was on the computer and I got into it with a former friend of mine over an instant messenger program. A while back, this friend of mine (who also happens to be a photographer) had put together a shoot with this model girl who was also a friend of mine. Here's a little background... According to him, he had slept with this girl once (or twice, I can't remember) and I think that he still had feelings for her even though this girl kind of blew him off afterward and she had moved on and started dating other people quite a few times since then.

So the two of them were planning their shoot and I guess she had told him that she would stay the night with him so he went out and got this really expensive room (which I know that he couldn't afford at the time) in Los Angeles because that was where the girl wanted to stay. The nice hotel room would also serve as a backdrop for his photos, so he could somewhat justify the expense. He had complained to me that this particular room was extremely overpriced, he didn't like the decor, and he felt that it looked "cheesy", but like I had said, that was what she wanted. Plus, he had hoped that maybe he and this girl might hook up again. Especially since she had said that all she wanted to drink wine and shoot. So naturally, this sounded good to him. As the shoot date approached, the girl changed the plans completely on him at the last minute when it was too late for him to cancel and get his money back. That's when I get invited into the situation. He asked me if I would come along and shoot with them. I said that I would, but looking back, I wish I hadn't.

Fast forward to the day of the shoot. I was running late. My friend was stressing because he was scared that she was going to go off on him. I felt bad for him... he's a super nice guy and I hate seeing my friends get taken advantage of. The way he was making her sound to me was that she was a real whip cracker and if she didn't get her way, there was going to be trouble. She definitely had a hold on him. Anyway, I made us late, my fault. I live an hour and a half from L.A. and traffic was bad. However, I didn't see what the big deal was. I do admit that I tend to be pretty laid back and understanding about stuff though. If I were her and I had a photographer spending $500 for a hotel room for me, spending a bunch of money to rent lights and equipment, and that was shooting pics of me for free, I wouldn't get mad at him because of something that was not entirely his fault. That's just me though. Apparently, she did and she was also talking shit about me to him (which he told me what she had said). Also, she got mad at him because he had paid to have my hair and makeup done, but he hadn't paid for hers. I guess to her, it was some kind of a contest with her or something. This wasn't my fault but he had said that she resented me for that. I'm really not sure why because it doesn't make sense to me. This was an agreement that he and I had. I'm sure she could have asked my friend to do the same for her if it really was something that was important to her. However, it seemed that it only became a problem because I was getting something she didn't. I think she forgot the fact that he had spent $500 on the room that she wanted and another couple hundred or so on lighting/photography equipment. When you total it all up, he had spent a lot of money putting this shoot together. More than the $120 or so for the cheapest possible way that I could get my hair and makeup done for a shoot but whatever. I felt bad that my friend was late because of me so I said that I didn't mind if he just dropped me off at my hair appointment so he could go straight to the room and start shooting her so she would quit her bitching. I said that he didn't have to worry about taking pics of me that day. I didn't mind. I just wanted to keep the peace. However, when my hair appointment was done, she wouldn't allow him to pick me up. She wanted me to take a cab back to the room. It appeared as if my friend was suddenly on a short leash. LOL!

Anyway, my friend kept complaining to me about this girl so I really started to feel bad for him. He was painting this chick out to be a total unappreciative bitch while he was the innocent one getting screwed over. And that made me mad because he is always the type of guy that bends over backwards to do nice things for people, so I didn't think it was fair that he was getting a bunch of shit in the process.

I get back to the hotel room after getting my hair done and they were finishing up their shoot. She wanted to go out that night so we all go out to dinner and then a nightclub after that. She brings this new guy that she had been messing around with who happened to be a promoter of the club we end up going to. My friend got his feelings hurt about that because he said it was hard for him to see her making out with other guys when he still had feelings for her because they had slept together. I think he tried to mask his feelings by drinking a little too much that evening. And she told him that he was not welcome to hang out with us and she basically said to "get lost" because she was "embarrassed to be seen with him". Of course... what she said, went!

The next day, she was pretty hungover (as she usually gets) so she didn't call or show up early. And she still had her boy toy from the night before with her so I'm sure they were laying around for a while doing whatever two people that are dating do in hotel rooms. I think we actually had to call her that morning to find out where she was at and when she was coming. She shows up much later and she goes to the mall with us because I have an appointment to get my makeup done at M.A.C. cosmetics. I got my makeup done and then we went back to the hotel room to shoot.

After the shoot, she wants to go out again. So again, we all go out. Towards the end of the evening, the guy that she was with pulls me aside. He was practically crying. I guess "his date" has been ignoring him the whole night. He's practically in tears as he tells me that she is making out with every guy in the bar and he wants me to tell her that he had gone home. So I get involved, I tell the guy not to leave and that I will fix it. I go up to the girl and at this point, I've had just about enough of everyone complaining to me about this girl. And I'm sick and tired of hearing that she is talking shit about me as if it is some sort of contest over who gets what out of this shoot. I just agreed to do it because I thought it woule be fun (what a friggin concept!!!), ya' know? I tap her on the shoulder as she is practically sitting on some guy's lap and I tell her, "Dude! What the fuck are you doing? I know you are probably drunk but pull it together! You came here with that guy and you are making out with other guys in the bar in front of him? He's practically in tears over there and he wants to leave but I stopped him." I can't remember what she said back but it's not relevant to the story anyway.

The guy she was with thanked me for getting involved and he asked me for my card so that he could invite me to some of his parties. I wasn't interested in the guy and I don't think he was picking up on me, so I gave him my card. We get back to the hotel room and she starts going off about how people aren't her "real" friends and she was bitching up a storm about how she didn't get enough shots for her website. I thought she was trying to say that I wasn't her real friend because I had given her "flavor of the month" pork-buddy my card. And I thought that she was blaming my friend and I for her not getting enough photos done when she was the one who wanted to call it a day and go out and party both nights. That was when I let her have it. I had listened to both of them bitch and complain about her the entire time and I felt bad for them that they felt powerless while this chick was walking all over both of them. I was like, "You have got to be friggin kidding me! He paid $1000 for two nights in this room that YOU wanted, he paid for all of this expensive photography equipment so that he could shoot YOU and both days YOU wanted to go out and party instead of shooting into the night like you had originally told him that you wanted to do. Then YOU were hungover this morning which cut into your shooting time and YOU wanted to go out again. It's YOUR OWN damn fault that you didn't get enough pictures!" and she came back and said, "What are you talking about? I paid for this room too!" and I can't remember everything else that was said because it was so long ago. Basically, I was up in her face defending my friend. And I still don't know what the real story is. He had conveniently failed to mention that she was chipping in any money at all to cover the expenses of the shoot... if that were even true. I backed him up as if it was a bunch of bullshit though.

After all of this and my friend had told me he was done being her friend and yada yada yada. Some time passes and all of a sudden it turns out that I'm the only person that lost a friend over this. Both guys are so pussy whipped that they were all still friends with her after all of that went down. The club promoter guy, I can understand. He barely knew me. And he was getting laid by this chick, so I get that he continued on with his relationship, even though I find it to be pretty disgusting that he'd be desperado enough to put up with a girl that he was dating making out with other guys in a bar right in front of him.

My friend, that's who I was having a hard time understanding the whole situation. The ONLY reason why I got involved is because I had to listen to both of those fools complaining about this chick over and over again and no one was friggin' doing anything about it so I got involved. And now it seems in doing so, I lost my friendship with this girl. No biggie. I don't need the drama anyway. I'm kind of shocked why he decided to be friends with her again, but then again I'm not, seeing how this person was treating him and watching him do absolutely nothing about it time after time. He's obviously a glutton for punishment. However, I would have liked my friend to get involved and it least be a man and own up to her and tell her the truth about what happened that night and why. I know that he hasn't tried to smooth things over like a REAL friend would because if he had, there is no way that this chick would want to be his friend and not mine. And regardless, if someone is your friend, you don't just throw them under the bus when they stand up for you. It's cowardly, it shows that you have no backbone, and it's just plain bullshit! He should have let her know that he was the reason why I got involved. And for the amount of time that he spent complaining about this girl to me, it doesn't seem as if he really liked her all that much anyway so I don't see why it would be any skin off his back. Although, I wouldn't be surprised if the reason that I don't get it is because he talks shit about me to this girl just like he talks shit about her to me. It would all make sense then. Other than that, I'm just not sure what the draw is. Oh... that's right! Because he porked her!

I had to end the friendship today because he never fixed things for me and he insisted that he just HAD to remain friends with this girl. He turned out to be a real snake in the grass which is pretty unfortunate. I've decided that I don't have time for people that are not TRUE friends anymore. My life is too full as it is. It's interesting that he thinks that I should overlook all of this because he thought that he "was more of a friend than anyone else ever had been or could be". That's a total joke because I've had friends that I've been friends with way longer than him. And I've already been in similar type situations with these people and guess what... they didn't roll me under the bus! What a concept, eh? Being someone's friend doesn't just mean that you do nice things for them. Don't get me wrong... that stuff is nice, but to me, friendship is a whole lot more than that. Does the word loyalty mean anything to you? It really is a shame that this person doesn't understand any of that. Oh well... life goes on! My Spring Cleaning came a little late this year but I don't have any regrets about my decision. Life is too short to share it with people that don't stick by your side when push comes to shove.

XoXoX,
BB
www.BobbiBillard.com

Thursday, September 8, 2005

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XoXoX,
BB
www.BobbiBillard.com
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Wednesday, September 7, 2005

Starbucks Is Crack!

I went to bed really late last night. I think it was around 4 am when I finally decided to get some sleep. And stupid me, I completely forgot that I had an appointment with the exterminator at 8 am. So at around 8:30 this morning my doorbell rang. I woke up to Gucci barking up a storm because someone was at the door. I run downstairs and answer the door in my pjs. I was so tired and groggy. I was completely out of it! As soon as I figured out that it was the exterminator at the door, I realized that I hadn't done any of the things that I was supposed to do to prepare for his visit. Fuck!! They had asked me to clear everything from out from under my sinks and take off all the faceplates off of the light switches and electrical sockets. Damn it!!! How stupid of me! I can't believe I spaced on my appointment! Luckily, the guy was cool and he didn't seem like he was pissed or anything.

After I had quickly gotten everything ready so that he could spray, he asked me if they had let me know when I made my appointment that I had to leave the house for three hours. And no, they had not told me that. I called my friend Brandi to see if I could go over there. She didn't pick up so I left a message for her. I was racking my brain as to where I could go on such short notice that would allow dogs when all that I wanted to do was crawl back im bed. Ugh!! I don't know a whole lot of people that live in my area and the friends that I have that do live around here are not typically early risers. I was just about to call Jenn when Brandi returned my call. Phew! Brandi saved the day! Thank goodness!

I stopped by Starbucks to get my morning caffeine fix. I usually order a Venti Cafe Latte but I decided to try the Pumpkin Spice Latte instead because they had a sign near the cash register. Plus it sounded good for a change. And it was pretty good, but I don't want to make a habit of drinking the sweetened coffee drinks like Mochas, etc. A lot of people don't realize how many calories those drinks actually have. I try to limit myself to one special mocha type coffee drink every one or two weeks. Everything in moderation, including moderation... right?

Anyway, I got to Brandi's and I finished my drink and I was still exhausted. I ended up falling asleep on her couch. I find it to be pretty strange that I was able to fall asleep after drinking all of that caffeine, but I was really tired! Maybe I am getting used to having coffee every day so the caffeine is not having too much of an effect on me anymore. It used to be that I had to be really careful how much coffee I drank because I was not used to having caffeine. I don't drink soda, juices, or iced tea... only water. Usually, if I drank coffee too late in the afternoon, I was guaranteed to have a sleepless night that evening. Now, I can drink a latte and go back to sleep apparently. Very strange!

One thing that I do notice is that since I have been going to Starbucks every morning, I feel very groggy in the mornings until I drink my coffee. It's hard to explain but I feel kind of out of it, like my mind is all foggy, but sure enough, it goes away just as soon as I start sipping on my latte. My kickboxing trainer used to say that Krispy Kremes is crack but I beg to differ. I think Starbucks is crack!

I wonder if what I am noticing is normal. To me it feels like I am starting to show signs of being dependent on it and I really don't like being dependent on anthing. I'm going to do some research about this because the last thing I need is a new bad habit. I've already 86ed cigarettes and alcohol. I don't smoke anymore (unless it is for the occasional photoshoot) and I have quit drinking (unless it is a special occasion). Maybe I should stop drinking coffee too. I thought I've heard that caffeine isn't that good for you anyway. I was liking it at first because I would get all cracked out on my Starbucks coffee and yap my head off in my journal, but do I really want to be dependent on coffee to be my inspiration to write in the mornings? Plus, I don't want to start getting headaches in addition to the morning funk that I have been noticing lately. Some people get headaches if they don't get their morning java jolt, right? I'd rather nip that habit in the bud right now before it starts having anymore negative effects on me. What do you guys think? Do you drink coffee? Do you feel kind of out of it until you have your first cup? Do you get a headache if you don't get your coffee fix? Do you feel as if you are dependent on it? If yes, does that trouble you?

XoXoX,
BB
www.BobbiBillard.com

Tuesday, September 6, 2005

Beach Blanket BB & Scent of a Woman

I went to the beach and laid out today. Even though I live pretty close, I rarely go to the beach, unless I am doing a shoot. And usually when I do those, it is either too cold to go in the water, or I am working and can't mess up my hair and makeup by going in the water.

It was really nice out! I was so relaxed that I could have easily fallen asleep. I caught myself though. I didn't want to wake up and be burnt to a crisp on one side because I wasn't flipping over. Been there, done that!

I'm going to try to enjoy the little bit of summer weather that we have left since much of this season I spent indoors either sick or miserable from my allergies. I plan on going to the beach again very soon. And I could always go to the pool near my house. I wonder what all the soccer moms would think of my skimpy g-string bikinis.

After the beach I came home and took a nice long shower to wash all the sand and salt water off of my skin. Then I went to the mall to pick up a few things that I needed. I had a field day at Bath & Body Works. Note to self: Don't go shopping for lotions that smell like food when you are hungry!! You'll end up wanting to buy one of everything in the entire store. *Giggle!*

XoXoX,
BB
www.BobbiBillard.com

Saturday, September 3, 2005

V.I.B. & Toothbrushers Anonymous

Good morning! I slept in again today. I've been so tired lately. I wonder if my allergies are causing that. I went out to grab a coffee (or what I like to call "Babble Juice") and came back on the computer to check what's going on with my site, my forum, etc. I got a really good question from rockhard on my forum and I was inspired to write so away I went. He wanted to know what my favorite modeling job was.

My response, "My favorite job that I ever did would have to be my Diet Dr. Pepper commercial. When I tried out for that part, I never thought I would even have a chance at getting it. The first audition I was told something completely different by my agent so I got there and wasn't prepared. He had told me they were looking for a Pamela Anderson type and he said think "V.I.P." and I was like cool... I put together an outfit that consisted of a tube top and these skintight red patent leather pants with huge platform cut off boots. The audition was way up in "The Valley" in L.A. and it was roasting hot that day..." and you can read the rest by clicking here.

I think I'm addicted to brushing my teeth. Ever since I got my teeth whitened, I've been brushing my teeth after every single meal which because of that special diet that I'm on it means that I'm brushing them like six times a day. That reminded me of the guy who did the tattoo of Winnie the Pooh and Tigger on my ankle way back in the day. If my memory serves me correctly his name was Quinn and he worked at Laguna Tattoo. Like all tattoo artists, he was tatted to the max. While he was drilling away on my skin, I was trying to distract myself from the pain by zoning out on different things. I remember looking at all of his many tattoos. I think one of them in particular was a flying toothbrush. I was like, "What's the deal with the toothbrush tattoo? What made you get that one?" and he replied, "I like to brush my teeth a lot! I'm addicted to it". I remember thinking that that was kind of strange but I guess now I'm a brushing addict as well. But don't worry guys, I promise that I won't be getting a toothbrush tattooed on me anytime soon.

I've got my camshow tonite. I've got a few things to do to get ready so I've gotta' go for now. See you soon! :)

XoXoX,
BB

www.BobbiBillard.com