Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Hunting & Pecking

I'm having a rough day. For starters, I didn't get much sleep. I was trying to write back to everyone that emailed me about my bulletin on MySpace (which was a carbon copy of what was wrote on livejournal). I'm amazed at how many people took the time to email and show their support. Actually, I'm amazed at how many people took time out of their busy days to read that rather lengthy piece that I wrote. Hahaha! MySpace.com is one of my favorite sites! I can't tell you how many cool people I have met thru there. And it appears as if a lot of people have dealt with tons of adversity in your lives. I heard from a several paraplegics, a girl that battled bone cancer TWICE, a guy that blew out his hip in a motorcycle accident and his muscle had to reattach to his leg so every time he walks it feels like it is ripping, etc. I was touched and moved by their stories. It made all of my troubles seem so small in comparison.

So anyway, stupid, tired me in my haste to get ready to go to the gym, slammed my right pointer finger in the door and broke my nail off way down low. It's crazy how much blood came out. It even got on my white shoes... DAMN IT! So forgive me people but during my cam show tonite, if my audio is not working over at ACH (I am crossing my fingers that it will) during my cam show tonite, then I won't be able to type there. It was a struggle to type this and hunt and peck is not my style! I will, as always I will have sound on my CamZ show! :)

And then if that wasn't bad enough, I burned the roof of my mouth so badly the other day in my rush to eat because I was starving. Now I can barely eat anything because it hurts so much! Grrr... Oh well! My workout was great! Wait! Actually, it wasn't all that fabulous either! I kicked some ass on the stairmaster (Level 13 woohoo!) and then got an asthma attack and had to take it easy on the treadmill.

Oh well! Guess it's just one of those days...

Shortly after I posted this, I booked a 2 day gig with MuscleTech. Yay! Guess it's not such a bad day after all! :) Call time is 9 am and of course, it is up in LA, so I definitely need to get my beauty sleep tonite.

XoXoX,
Bobbi B.
http://www.BobbiBillard.com

Monday, April 25, 2005

My WWE "Release" Info...

I've been very busy with a lot of stuff so I'm sorry that I haven't had enough time to keep up with my journal as much as I should. I thought that I would give you an update as to what I've been up to as well as address some things that have been mentioned in some of the wrestling sites, on my official website (www.BobbiBillard.com), my yahoo group, and on MySpace.com.


First off, regarding the whole WWE (World Wrestling Entertainment) thing. I appreciate the many many responses that I have gotten regarding the whole supposedly getting "released" from WWE again that some of the wrestling sites have been reporting. A lot of you have expressed to me that you really would have liked to have seen me up on television but sometimes that is just not the way the cookie crumbles. I must say that I was extremely surprised when a few days ago, the wrestling news sites have been writing that I got released again.


Here's the story...


In case you haven't been following my career that long and haven't heard, I was hired to work for WWE back in late December 2003/early January of 2004 and had a serious neck injury that was so bad that I had to have a 2 level fusion surgery (C5/C6 - C6/C7). This surgery was performed by Dr. Youngblood (same doctor as Stone Cold, Lita, Edge, etc.) in San Antonio, Texas at the end of July 2004. It takes a long time to heal from something like that. For months, I had to wear a rather restrictive neck brace and was unable to drive or do anything but sit in my house and rely on friends and family to bring me food and supplies, and take me to doctors appointments and such.


And then there is the whole healing process that takes place. It puts you out of commission for quite a while. I keep getting offers to come and wrestle for other companies but you can't wrestle for at least a year after a 2 level fusion. And that's if I decide that I even want to wrestle again at that point. I couldn't work out until I was cleared by the doctor. I was scared to re-injure myself by trying to do too much too soon. So I took it SLOW. And to be perfectly honest, there was a long period of time where I was extremely depressed about this whole situation and didn't really feel like doing much of anything. Well, I am pleased to announce that I have FINALLY started working out with a really great trainer and trying to get my body back in fitness shape so that I can take on shoots and start booking modeling work again. But even shooting is hard now a days. The long hours involved take its toll on my body. My neck is just not the same. I thought that I was going to make a full recovery and get back to normal but as of right now, its been pretty tough. Certain poses are harder for me to hold because there isn't much strength in my neck. Plus my scar is ugly and pretty visible! It is keloid. Not all of the magazines airbrush you know, particularly the fitness ones! I'm hoping that it doesn't affect my chances of getting published again. And of course, my mobility is a bit limited so things like driving are a little different and have taken some time to get used to. It hurts when I do crunches and certain exercises. I have to be extremely careful when lifting even light weights in the gym. My neck hurts, especially in the mornings and at night, and particularly on days that I workout or do a photoshoot. My muscles on the left side from my neck down to behind my scapula are in knots constantly. And I still can't flex my bicep completely on my left side. It doesn't respond to my brain signals. Very strange! I'm not sure if this is because the muscle has atrophied, or if I have permanent nerve damage left over from the result of having to wait so long to get the surgery. My muscle strength (bicep and tricep) in my left arm is not what it was.


When I was down in Kentucky at OVW and got injured, the first doctors that I was sent to looked at my MRI and said, "Tasha, you will make a full recovery from your injury, however, Bobbi I'm not so sure about. Her neck is really messed up!". I knew this was the case because I was in so much pain! These were the same doctors that called WWE and asked what was going on because they were seeing so many injuries in such a short time span. Shortly thereafter, the head trainer, Rip Rogers, was fired. Bob Clark, who handled the injuries of WWE employees at that time (or independent contractors as they prefer to call us) referred me to this other doctor in Cincinnati. I did not really get a good vibe from him and I told this to Bob Clark. Not to mention it was a pretty far drive from Louisville to Cincinnati and driving was extremely hard for me when I was injured. However, they made me go to him anyway. This guy acted as if there was nothing wrong with me (which I just knew in my heart was not the case) and recommended that he administer cortisone injections in my neck. I did a set of 3 and then shortly after my third one I was released because it didn't fix me up one bit. The reason that I was given for my "release" was because I was hurt and since it was a neck injury, I would continue to re-injure myself if I were to keep wrestling. They said that they have seen it with their other stars and said that once your neck is injured, you're almost like damaged goods in their eyes. And I wasn't on TV yet, so to them it just wasn't worth it to invest in me any further. I was very disappointed but I understood. So at the end of April of 2004, I had a friend fly out and help me move all of my belongings back to California. I was under doctor's orders and I wasn't able to lift over 5 or 10 pounds so I was basically useless. Thank god that I had that help as nothing was offered to me.


I collected all of my medical records because I knew that I was going to be needing them once I got home, and that's when I found something to be a little strange. My MRI report said something like "Is she having these symptoms? Numbness and tingling in the fingers? If so, you should order these tests." I find it VERY strange that that doctor that WWE was so hell bent on me seeing did not even mention that to me, nor did he suggest that I have the Myleogram or Nerve Conduction Test as suggested by the radiologist in my MRI report. I have to wonder if that doctor is paid off or something but of course, I can't prove anything like that. I think that when you work for a company like WWE, the attitude is that you are supposed to be like a racehorse and just get back in there. Unfortunately, I could barely function because of the constant pain that I was in and I would have done further damage to my body had I decided to. Plus, I would have been putting anyone else that I got in the ring with in jeopardy if I had. So I made the right decision for ME to listen to go to the doctor. Besides, I was not medically released to train any further so even if I had wanted to, I wouldn't have been allowed to get back in the ring.


Anyone remember the incident a while back involving Bubba Ray Dudley? Apparently, Bubba had been suffering from a pinched nerve in his neck and dropped Lance Storm directly on his head, botched a scary spot with Triple H and a table, and gave himself a concussion, all in under a month's time. WWE was said to feel lucky that no one was further injured by the decision to put Bubba Ray back in the ring a bit prematurely from a pinched nerve injury. Let me remind you, I was under strict doctors orders not to wrestle so don't even give me that bullshit about working through my injury!!


So back in California, WWE sent me a contract that said that they wanted to pay me a lump sum of cash and that I would release them from any liability, etc. And also that both parties would agree that the story was that I left wrestling to "pursue my own interests". I sat there and thought, "I don't think that amount would even cover my neck surgery, if I in fact needed one. I can't sign this! No way!" so I didn't sign. And then my weekly checks stopped coming for almost a month or more I think. Were they trying to force me to sign because they thought that I needed the money? Well you guys picked the wrong girl then! THANK GOD wrestling was not my sole source of income... and while I did need the money to pay for the various expenses that I incurred while moving from Kentucky to California, I would have been ok anyway. I feel sorry for the people if they get into a similar situation and are depending on those weekly checks that they get. They would have no choice but to sign and get screwed in situations like this. That really sucks for those people!


Back at home dealing with my injury, I would sit on the computer and read all these bogus reports as to why they got rid of Latasha and I. I was supposedly skipping practice, wasn't taking to the training, faking an injury so that I could get out of wrestling practice, etc, etc. I was like, "Why would I want to sign this? In that contract, both parties are supposed to agree that I left wrestling to pursue other interests, which is a total lie (at least in my case it was)". And then there is/are some big mouth high school drama freak(s) working for WWE leaking all of this bogus information on wrestling tabloid websites stating information to the contrary. Tasha signed and they still reported that stuff about her. Way to uphold your end of the bargain there people! Then Dr. Tom came out with his column bashing me and I was like alright... that's it! Enough is enough! That Dr. Tom guy is an idiot! I barely even talked to him so he didn't even know me. And he didn't have enough common sense to know that most of the people down in Louisville that I went to school with knew that I had a good look and was a threat to get pulled up to TV quicker than them. And if WWE was smart... they would want women that have the ability to get a "reaction" out of people... positive or negative. If I could stir up OVW so much to have all those people all riled up about me, then just think of what I could have accomplished on the "boob tube" hahaha! Let alone the fact that I already have a huge fan base.


Let's face it, I wasn't hired because I am some fabulous wrestler. I mean, I did have a prior stint with W.O.W. (Women of Wrestling), I'd been training with Rey Mysterio's uncle (the original Rey Mysterio) in Tijuana, I'm athletic, I'm a hard worker, I'm intelligent, I had potential to learn, and I wanted to get to become a great wrestler and not just another "eye candy" bimbo that you guys are complaining about being stuck with watching these days on WWE. I'd say that you could compare me to a Trish. Her looks and fitness background got her in the door in the first place, but then she surprised everyone in the end. And now look at her! She's arguably one of the best in the women's division. But I can be honest with myself and honest with all of you, I wasn't hired because of my amazing wrestling ability. I was hired for my look. And people resented me for that.


Unfortunately, TV is about beautiful people. Wrestling is moving more in that direction. Not that that is what it is supposed to or should be about, but that's just the way it is now a days. Deal with it! The people at OVW knew the drill perfectly well down there. Those people knew that I would have gotten called up before them and they hated me for that. And they hated me because I drove a nice car. There was a lot of jealousy going on. Even the guys were in competition with the girls. I was told by a few people to BE CAREFUL. That people will hurt you ON PURPOSE! Pretty scary stuff if you ask me. Put yourself in my shoes. You know that everyone hates you and then you have to stress out about some hater bitch dropping you on your head ON PURPOSE to possibly paralyze you and put you out of commission? Then I'm sure they'd just be like, "Oops! Sorry about that! It was an accident!".


I saw it happen one day with my own eyes. I was watching practice one day and a girl (who will remain nameless) was in the ring with a new girl that looked like she could be her clone (but I think that the new girl was prettier and the other girl was feeling insecure). So this new girl was getting a try-out at OVW. They were in the ring together and if I remember correctly the veteran OVW kicked the new girl in the face or did something to try and injure her. I looked around and everyone was baffled (the trainer, the people standing around the ring, etc.). Even the veteran's own boyfriend was like, "What were you trying to do there?". I watched as she fumbled on her words trying to come up with some sort of excuse for her actions. I know perfectly well what she was trying to do. She was trying to pull rank on that girl. And she was worried that there was going to be another new pretty girl down at OVW competing for a job on TV. That's just the way it was there.


Anyway, I was told that I wasn't liked because of the reasons that I mentioned above. And it is also a well known fact that some of the people that go to school there, will embellish the truth and give information to certain people (*ahem Dr. Tom*) in exchange for perks or to make themselves look better and hopefully get pulled up to TV quicker. Dr. Tom's column about me proves my point. He bashed me because I drove a Hummer. That just proves right there that those people were jealous and pissed off that I was down there and successful (not from my wrestling paychecks, believe me, because I make more money modeling in one day than I did all week working for WWE. I gave all of that up, plus I wasn't able to be as involved as I am on my website, to go down there to train instead.). It's not my fault that I built a successful business and was getting paid more money from WWE than a lot of the people down there. And while they were eating bologna sandwiches and struggling to get by, I was an easy target. If Dr. Tom was smart... he would have got all that! But instead, he wasn't able to see the real picture. He listened to a bunch of cut throat people that would do ANYTHING, straight Machiavellian style to insure that I wouldn't take "their spot" on TV. If he had any sense, he would have considered the source and what their motivation could be. So hence his column in which he didn't have the balls to mention my name, but everyone knew who he was talking about. And now he's out of a job with WWE too. My fault? I don't know. But I do believe in karma.


So anyway, I decided to speak out because so many rumors and bullshit were being thrown my way and I wanted to set the record straight. That's when WWE decided to step up to the plate and send me to Dr. Youngblood. I don't think they really understood the reach that I have with my website, etc. but if they didn't... they do now. I have a lot of fans that were rooting for me to get up to TV. Fans that would be watching their programming now if I was on there. And that's why, once again, I am shocked that whatever loud mouth drama gossip queen that they have working for their company is reporting that I have been released again. I'm not about to let you guys start BS'ing about me again.


Let's set the record straight. I was released in mid April 2004. But after I told my story and got them to finally send me to a "real doctor", they paid for my neck surgery. Thank you for that! That was the least that they could have done for all that I went through. All that time that aholes on the wrestling sites were falsely reporting that I was faking my injury to get out of practice, etc. I have the neck scar to prove it... so now what? Now hopefully you can see who was telling the truth after all. And much to my surprise, I kept receiving my weekly checks from WWE. You think they were paying me all this time out of the goodness of their hearts? I highly doubt that! And no, I did not quietly get some secret deal with WWE to be on contract so I don't sue them. I have so far refused to sign any of the crap that they have presented me with except for the contract that I got hired with in the first place. They just kept sending checks... and I kept cashing them. So I haven't been released again people. They released me way back in April just like I said.


The only thing that happened that could remotely be considered a release was that I got a phone call from Johnny Ace and he said something along the lines of, "How are you doing? I want you to know that we are going to continue to pay you for another 3 months (WWE pays you for 3 months when you are released) and we know that you can't wrestle again but maybe there's a role for a bikini type diva or something so next time we are in LA, we'd like to meet with you."


So I thought, cool... they were just going to continue the checks for 3 more months and all would be good. I was appreciative of the fact that they were letting me know in advance. But then they sent me that contract again for me to sign stating that I was signing away my rights to sue them in exchange for the money. And I like how they are dangling that "job" carrot to try to get me to sign that. If they really wanted to give me a job with the company, why is it that they didn't just offer me something a while back. They had a Diva Search contest and some of those girls don't have to wrestle (which they said that they don't want me to do anyway because of my neck). Why wouldn't they just give me a job then since it really didn't matter who won or lost the whole thing? They pretty much hired every one of them anyway. Why is it a few days before you send me the "please don't sue me" contract that you are saying to meet up with you guys next time you are in LA? Weren't you guys just in LA for Wrestlemania?


Nobody from that company cared to ask how I was doing while I was recovering all this time. Don't think that I didn't notice that either. Yes, I got a few phone calls here and there but the tone of the calls always felt like "so are you going to sue us or what?" as they rushed me off the phone and didn't seem to be listening to my responses of how I was doing. I didn't detect any genuine concern from anybody but Tommy Dreamer. Then they have their OVW spies calling me up out of the blue to see how I'm doing *cough bullshit!*, acting like they had no idea that I got neck surgery. I got one of those calls very recently and forgive me if I'm wrong but his timing was just impeccable. PUHLEASE!! Those OVW drama queens know everything already. Who do you guys think you are kidding? I know! I went there! They try and pump me for information. It's laughable but I just play along like the dumb blonde that they obviously think that I am. I'm from L.A. people... HELLO! Do you not think that after all the practice that I've had living here that I can't tell genuine people from the fake ones?


So do me a favor people. Don't call me with the fake "how are you doing" crap! Especially the OVW spies! I'm onto you! I have been since day 1! If I'm wrong and your intentions were genuine, then I'm sorry for anyone's feelings that were hurt by these statements. But you coulda fooled me!!! It all seemed phonier than a 3 dollar bill! And I did notice the timing of all of these phone calls. I'm not as dumb as I may have looked to you.


But the question of the day is... why is WWE so worried about a lawsuit? Hmmm.... I wonder! And why did all these people that I spoke about suddenly get fired shortly after I told my story? Was it because I wasn't telling the truth all along? You decide!!


In my opinion, WWE is a lawsuit waiting to happen. There's a whole story on this that is worth a read.


http://www.pwtorch.com/artman/publish/printer_12336.shtml


Just look at the incidents reported lately with the Diva Search contestants being harassed by various WWE employees. It continues to happen and nothing gets done about it. In any other publicly traded company, people that act like this get fired. Ivory harassed me day in day out following me around the class every day calling me "whore", she went through her speech during one practice, "Girls like you two FUCK your way up to the top! I don't want you taking my spot, I don't you taking my spot, and I certainly don't want you taking my spot!" (as she pointed to all of us that were training), and then there was the day where she told Tasha and I in front of the class that "If you would work as hard in the wrestling ring as you obviously do in the bedroom... then maybe, just maybe you would get somewhere!". I can only imagine what it would have been like for me if I were to have made it up to TV. Amy Weber was teased about being a stripper because someone had stolen her photo from a Legs Avenue flyer and was using it to advertise their strip club, had a bloody mary poured on her while she slept on a plane, was slammed into the wall by another wrestler. Another Diva Search girl had some guy take a shit in her bag. And Sable sued them ages ago for similar type antics. When is it going to end? Will it really take another lawsuit for WWE to finally learn their lesson?


As for what I am up to now, I've been booking shoots again. My body is responding quickly to the workouts in addition to the new South Beach Diet meal delivery service that I am doing through nutrifitonline.com. A few weeks ago, I shot a music video for The Kottonmouth Kings. Their new song is awesome! I smell a hit here. It's called "King Klick". I can't wait to get my hands on a copy of their new album (which comes out 5/21) because I still have that damn song in my head. LOL! And I will let you all know when you can download the video and see yours truly with my NEW brunette hair. Oh yeah! That is big news too! I dyed my hair brown and I love it! Can you believe it? Last Wednesday, I just test shot for a major publication that I have to keep a secret right now but I am crossing my fingers on that one. And I had a shoot on Friday for Moto XXX (a motocross clothing company). I will be appearing on their upcoming site mxbeauties.com, saltytees.com, as well as on motoxxx.com.


Bye for now... I will let you know what I am up to as soon as I have more info for you.


XoXoX,

Bobbi B.



http://groups.yahoo.com/group/BobbiBillard