Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Shame on you Apple for trying to be my mommy when I am in my 30s!

Not too long ago, I made the switch from Blackberry to iPhone. As with any switch, there have been some things that I miss about my Blackberry and a lot that I love about my new iPhone. Regardless, I'm still torn between the two and could go either way. Just push me over the edge Apple... And today they did! I just read an article on CNN today that pissed me off greatly! It stated that Apple is banning most, but not all of the sexy apps on the iPhone. I was instantly annoyed as I started to read the article about Apple going all puritanical and Big Brother-ish on me while eroding freedom of speech.

The article said, "Apple has tightened its restrictions on sexy or suggestive apps for the iPhone and iPod Touch, and many of the most popular programs in the iTunes app store have been removed.

While speaking to the New York Times, Apple executive Phil Schiller explained, "It came to the point where we were getting customer complaints from women who found the content getting too degrading and objectionable, as well as parents who were upset with what their kids were able to see."

Several days ago the developer of the Wobble app posted the results of his discussion with Apple on his blog. The Wobble app, which adds a jelly-like wobble motion to any user supplied photo, was recently removed because advertisements suggested it could be used on photos of breasts.

I have spoken with Apple, and the following are the new rules:

1. No images of women in bikinis (Ice skating tights are not OK either)

BB says: *So you hear that Tanya Harding! No apps for you! Might as well stick to that failed porno you put out years ago to keep the lights on in your apartment. LOL!*

2. No images of men in bikinis! (I didn’t ask about Ice Skating tights for men)

BB says: *Well at least they are equal opportunity but think of all the cougars they're going to piss off when they discontinue the "Men In Speedos" app eh? Not!*

3. No skin (he seriously said this) (I asked if a Burqa was OK, and the Apple guy got angry)

BB says: *LMFAO! My sentiments exactly. I'm taking the anger as if it is ok to publish apps like these. Therefore, I'm moving forward on my "Bodacious Burqas" app as we speak!*

4. No silhouettes that indicate that Wobble can be used for wobbling boobs (yes – I am serious, we have to remove the silhouette in this pic)

BB says: *Hope this Big Brother bullshit doesn't start censoring real life. I've got a mean jiggle. Hehehe!*

5. No sexual connotations or innuendo: boobs, babes, booty, sex – all banned

BB says: *Damn! I guess I won't be able to talk about anything on any app I do because I'm all about the sexual connotations, innuendos, boobs, babes, booty, AND sex.*

6. Nothing that can be sexually arousing!! (I doubt many people could get aroused with the pic above but those puritanical guys at Apple must get off on pretty mundane things to find Wobble "overtly sexual!")

BB says: *People could be sexually aroused over all sorts of things you might not find sexually arousing. Might as well kill the Cesar Milan app if he has one just in the slight case someone is into beastiality. That goes for Lassie and Flipper too. Now that I mention it, Flipper sounds like some annoying chicks' sex noises in the bedroom. Don't ask!!!*

7. No apps will be approved that in any way imply sexual content (not sure how Playboy is still in the store, but …)

BB says: *Don't even start me on Playboy!!! Grrr!*

While most apps containing bikini-clad women are threatened, Phil Schiller defended the Sports Illustrated app to the Times. "The difference is this is a well-known company with previously published material available broadly in a well-accepted format," he said.

As of this morning, a Playboy app was also still available, suggesting Apple may accept sexual content if the developer is associated with a strong brand."

BB says: *Can you say hypocrisy?*

I'm sorry I don't even have an iPhone app that has jiggling boobs but I was in the beginning stages of working on one. Whether or not bikini photos were going to be included in my iPhone app were still being ironed out, however, I believe that these apps have a right and a place on iPhone if people want to download them. If Apple thinks being at a beach & wearing a bikini or taking pics in one is offensive, they can kick rocks in my book! I'm boycotting! It's a shame because I like their products, however, I don't need anyone to impose their so called "morality" on me. What is the Pope taking over Steve Jobs position at Apple now? And just what is so offensive about a woman in a bikini anyway?

I can see them making an "18 and Over" section for the iPhone apps that are on the sexier side but for someone to tell me what I can and can't download is a bit much! Especially when you can go on any Safari browser and get on a porn site in two seconds flat. The hypocritical false sense of security Apple is providing to all of you people thinking you've prevented your kids from seeing something that they could see at any local beach is a joke! If your kids are looking for a way to peep bikini photos, they will find a way. They are well versed on how to navigate the internet and if they aren't, plenty of their peers will show them how to find what it is they are looking for. Stop asking major companies to babysit your children! It's not their job to make up for the parenting skills you lack. Thanks for listening! Let me know your thoughts after the beep... *BEEP*

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