Saturday, April 22, 2006

Bring On the Whiskey!

I didn't sleep well at all last night. People were blowing up my phone all night long because my MySpace had vanished into thin air for the second time this week. Everyone was trying to let me know because after spending literally years of my life on this website and taking the time to approve almost 350,000 friends on here, they knew I was not going to be happy! Thankfully, I am back here with you guys again. Whatever doesn't kill me will make me stronger. You should know that by now after checking out the size of my pecs! LOL!

So it already started off as a crappy day... then it moved from crappy to straight out strange! What the fuck! A St. Bernard just cruised in my house like he owned the place. I am not even kidding! It should have had a shot of whiskey around his neck for the kind of day I am having! Friggin worthless dog! LOL! Anyway, LoriDawn, my personal assistant, is here. I sent her to get me breakfast which consisted of a bagel with cream cheese, smoked salmon, tomato, and red onion on top, along with a Starbucks Venti Latte with two extra shots of espresso. I needed it today. I knew I was going to have to write a whole bunch of people back who were wondering what the hell happened to my MySpace profile and explain to more that no, I didn't block them from visiting my profile and that I would be back shortly. Anyway, she comes back with my stuff and walks in the door. I guess the St. Bernard was behind her and just snuck in to my house when she opened the door. I was upstairs on the computer and I hear my dog Gucci starts going off, barking and growling. I go downstairs and this dog that doesn't belong to me was jumping clumsily around my living room. The four legged intruder was trying to play with my dog but he wasn't having any of that. Gucci was freaking out! I think he had flashbacks to when he was attacked by a big mean brute doggie at my old neighborhood. We finally shoo-ed the unwelcome doggie visitor out of my house and I'm going about my day now. What the fuck next people? LOL!

New house rules! From now on, next time a St. Bernard wants to come over... he's not getting in without the whiskey flask! That is all there is to it!