A long while back, this penis enlargement pill company called SizeMax used my face in their ads without my permission. They stole my picture from a layout that I did for Muscular Development and published my face in their ad. And if that isn't bad enough, there was text next to my face that read, "Imagine you are on a date with this beautiful woman. She wants to take you home for a night of hot passionate sex. Do you have enough to satisfy her? Or do you fall short?" These ads ran in a bunch of magazines that have a lot of readers. Some of the magazines it ran in were FHM, Maxim, Iron Man, etc. and these are just the ones that I know about. Some of my fans contacted me and were like, "Did you know you are in Maxim this month?" and I was like, "huh?". I thought for sure I would go pickup the magazine and it would be some other blonde with big tits and they had confused me with her, but no, to my surprise it was ME! WTF! And the guy that owned the tanning salon that I tanned at was like, "Did you know that you are in an ad for some penis enlargement pill?". Pretty embarrassing! At least he asked. I think most people know that I don't/won't take on work like that. But what about the ones that don't know me... I mean the ad ran in a fitness magazine that I haven't been in but want to. Now they probably think that I take on cheeseball work like that. So guess what I did... I sued the bastards!
Well... the case finally went to court and I won! Not surprising really, I knew I would. You can't just put somebody's face in your ad without their permission and expect to get away with it. So... guess how much the courts awarded me?! My judgement was for $16.8 million dollars! Can you believe that? The problem is, the judgement is probably the only paper I will ever get my purty lil' hands on. :( And I definitely would prefer the green kind. Ya know?
The story is kind of long and involved, but the two guys that were responsible are now in jail for money laundering and fraud because of their involvement with SizeMax, along with another company before that, Longitude. I guess the State of Arizona got to them before I could. They seized all of their assets and came forward with a bunch of charges. They were charged and convicted of their crimes and as I'm sure that you probably can understand, it is hard to collect money from someone who is in jail. And it is especially hard to collect money from someone involved in the type of criminal activities that these guys were. However, had they not been in jail, we wouldn't have been able to serve them in the first place. We tried to track them down before they were sentenced and it was impossible. Anyway, I have my judgement and it is good for 10 years and is renewable for another 10 after that. I hope one of those jackasses wins the lottery, or creates a legitimate profitable business someday, or something so I can get my 16 mill! Wouldn't that be nice?! :)
I received my judgement today. My lawyer had it framed for me. I'm officially rich on paper.
I took a picture for you guys...