Tuesday, June 8, 2004

You can't judge THIS book by its cover!

I'm not sure that this will help any since it seems that some of you skim read and then make up your own story anyway but whatever. I keep this journal for my own benefit and also so that my fans can keep updated as to what's going on with me. I like to be able to look back and remember various things that happened in my life. I shouldn't have to explain what a journal is all about anyway. And another thing, since you can't hear tone of voice over the computer, please don't assume that my tone is something that it is not. With that said, here are some preconceived ideas about me that I would like to address.

#1. Misconception: I don't have any wrestling experience...
One thing I learned is that you never stop learning. You can always stand to learn something new. I learned that from several big names in the industry and I think that that is a great attitude to have. Yeah, I'll admit that WOW wasn't the best show around. The girls on the show did the best that we could with the limited knowledge that we had. It was definitely a positive learning experience. And it does count as experience because I was on a nationally syndicated wrestling tv show. It is more experience than a lot of you that have taken the time to bash me in my comments section (or elsewhere on the net for that matter) have had or will ever have. Hate to be blunt about this but it needs to be said. Yeah, I will admit that on WOW, we didn't have enough training and it is light years away from anything that I was learning at OVW. OVW is a great school! It's very hard to get in there and I appreciated the opportunity a great deal. WOW had scripted matches where as OVW taught you psychology and stuff that I didn't even know existed until I got there. It was very challenging and I was eager to learn. I am a perfectionist and a very hard worker. That is how I got to be where I am in my life. I didn't get to where I am at by people handing me opportunities right and left contrary to popular belief. I had to work to get to where I am at so that I would even be offered a developmental deal with WWE in the first place.

#2. Misconception: I wanted to be treated with kid gloves.
Bullshit! This goes back to the whole "Playboy model" stereotype again. Did you know that before I went to OVW, I drove down to Tijuana, Mexico to train with Rey Mysterio's uncle? Rey Mysterio's uncle (Miguel) is the one who trained Rey and he was the original Rey Mysterio. He is an awesome trainer! There was no running water at our gym so lets just say the toilet situation was rather harsh. It smelled indescribable in there. I would get my perfume out and spray away so that I would not gag to death on the rancid odor. Do you think most "Playboy models" would be down with that? LOL! I know a lot of 'em and I can guarantee you they wouldn't put up with that fact alone. Please do not get me wrong, I'm not complaining about this stuff, I'm proving a point. I would drive down there 3 days a week. It was about 2-3 hours each way. And it's not the safest place in the world for a big breasted blonde to be hanging out. However, I loved training there! They put me in the ring, I was one of the few girls that went to school there. In fact, there were only two other women that attended with me. He taught us that people would be rough with you. At practice we would always chop the others as hard as we could. And they would do the same to me. He said that this would toughen us up and prepare us so if anyone ever hit us hard like this in the ring, it wouldn't take us by surprise. I would ask Miguel to tell the guys to chop me even harder if I felt that they were taking it easy on me because I was a girl.

At the end of some of the classes, we would do submission wrestling. Real stuff! And they put me in there with a guy. And you know what? I held my own. I didn't win but I came close. I am a strong girl. My last evening there, he put me in a submission match vs. one of the other girls. She chopped me as hard as she could, then I chopped her back. Then she slapped me in the face as hard as she could, then I slapped her back. Then we wrestled. I won. Then we shook hands. No hard feelings whatsoever.

I'm from the school where I'd rather have someone lay it in, than miss me by a mile. I want it to look right more than anything. And you know what? I can take it! The true art is making it look like you are clobbering someone when in all actuality you are barely touching them. That was what I was hoping to learn how to do! The point of these stories are that I am tougher than I may look. I'm not saying that I had it as rough as some people. I think that a lot of people missed my point with my earlier post. I'll explain more when I update you all with my medical situation.

#3. Misconception: I quit WWE Developmental Program.
I was released because of my injury. I did not quit. I'll admit that I thought about it... but I didn't.

#4. Misconception: I didn't work through my injuries.
Maybe I didn't emphasise this enough. I probably need surgery. I have my EMG/NCY test tomorrow and I get my results of that and my myelogram on Thursday. I have lost my strength in my left arm. The other day, I tried to show my trainer what I was talking about. In my tricep pulldowns I did about 60 lbs. on my right side. On my left side, I tried to push 20 lbs. and my brain sent the response out, but my arm wouldn't work. I feel constant tingling/numbness in my fingers (and palms), sometimes it is a burning sensation. And it feels as if someone is stabbing me with a knife in my neck down my spinal cord. My pain radiates down my left arm. I am in pain 24/7. The only time I don't feel as much pain is when I am laying down. It is still hard to get comfortable enough to sleep at night. And get this, no pain killer that I have taken so far will put a dent in my pain. I was prescribed vicodin and it didn't do jack shit!

As far as me practicing is concerned, my doctors would not clear me to practice and without clearance, I wasn't allowed to participate. If that makes me a baby or means that I don't love the business enough in your eyes, then so be it. What good is it to go on when it will render you incapable of ever wrestling again!? A neck injury is nothing to toy with. One bad bump and I would have been in a wheelchair. Plain and simple!

That's all for now. I need to go lay down. I'm hurting too much to type anymore.

Take care,
Bobbi B.
http://www.BobbiBillard.com
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/BobbiBillard

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