Sunday, June 6, 2004

Tough Enough?

I've been silent for way too long. I get back from WWE training camp only to have fans of mine asking me if I took wrestling seriously and if I was missing practices. Do you believe everything you read? I certainly hope not! Always remember that there are two sides to every story. I haven't had a chance to tell mine so here it goes...

In response to all of the stories about LaTasha Marzolla and I "not taking to wrestling", we weren't even given a chance. We got injured too soon to say. It's just interesting to me. WWE wanted me to sign something saying that I left on my own "to pursue other interests" in exchange for a lump sum of cash. I have a problem with that because that is a lie. I didn't sign. Tasha (I think) did and I'm assuming that she got the same type of release. Supposedly, everyone is supposed to agree that that's the story, that she "left to pursue other interests" right? However, they are still portraying both of us in the same light as before. Guess her agreement didn't really mean anything after all. I'm glad that I didn't sign anything because I can speak my mind. I'm not going to take hush money because I think that I owe it to anyone that is considering getting involved in the field of professional wrestling so that they can make an informed decision. I honestly had no clue what I was getting myself into and I'm sure there are others that don't. I'm going to start posting some of my stories here so stay tuned.

For starters, most of the stuff that has been said about me is untrue. It's pretty annoying and I for one am sick of it! For instance, all the missing practice crap happened before I got there, however I was blamed for it too and typecast as one of "the Playboy models" that was not showing up to practice, etc. Pretty easy to place me into that box and label me that. I have blonde hair and big boobs right so therefore I must be skipping practice with Tasha. Whatever!!!! And the funny thing was at least when I was there, Tasha missed practice to go to doctor's appointments or because she got sick. It's not like she was skipping just because she thought she was better than everyone and didn't have to go, as she has been portrayed. A lot of these stories couldn't be further from the truth and I'm wondering where the writers get their info from. As for me being flaky and skipping practice, I'm not about that and anybody that knows me could tell you that. I know better than to do something stupid like that. I know that there were a lot of people that didn't like us there. But if you think about it, there is a big cut-throat competition thing going on behind the scenes that most people would not understand unless they were there. It put any experience that I ever had in high school to shame!

This is a short version of our story at OVW. As for our injuries, everyone had practice for 6 hours a day. Then Melina, Tasha, & I stayed after for an additional (2+ hour) practice. For starters, I think that WWE meant well. I think that they were trying to get us ready quicker but it backfired and unfortunately Tasha and I were the casualties of all that. I feel the need to speak out since nobody is telling our side and I'm sure not that many people truly know what we went through. In the beginning, some of the guy wrestlers that worked on WWE held our extra practice for us. They got called up and then Ivory and Jacqueline came down. Then they held the beginners practices for us. On our first day with them, Ivory told us (speaking to Tasha and I) in front of other people, "Girls like you two fuck your way up to the top!". That was probably one of the most humiliating and demoralizing moments of my life right there. To be told that by somebody that you respected for their acheivements in women's wrestling is just plain harsh! She also told all of us (Melina, Tasha, & I) as she pointed to each of us, "I don't want you taking my spot, I don't want you taking my spot, and I certainly don't want you taking my spot!". Then they'd bump us like crash test dummies. Tasha would ask me if they were being extra rough with me. She felt that they were with her (as she had no experience wrestling before and had nothing to compare it to). I did feel like they were being a bit rough compared to WOW, but in WOW, the emphasis was in making everything LOOK really aggressive when in fact it was a super light touch, so I could have been wrong. She told me that when she was doing her snap mares, Jackie was actually forcing her to do her flips by her hair and neck. And on the hair beals she felt as if Jackie was grabbing and clawing her scalp like an eagle. I don't even want to hear it so let me just clue you in. Tasha is one tough chick! She is a professional kickboxer. She could probably beat the crap out of any of the chicks there but that's a whole 'nother story right there. Let's just say, I'd have my money on her over any of the female talent on WWE. And I wrestled before on WOW, so it's not like I am a "typical Playboy model". I was one of the few girls that did not get injured on that show (until the very last match at the PPV in which I sprained my AC). I'm not afraid to break a nail, so let's not even go there. I just wanted to make myself clear in case any of the stereotypers are reading my rant. Anyway, back to my story... I watched as Tasha was made to flip bump over and over and over... landing incorrectly and awkwardly onto her ankles each time. It seemed pretty obvious to me that something was not right, yet they had her keep repeating the action over and over. Tasha woke up the next day with swollen ankles. When she said that she was hurt and wanted to sit out, she was ridiculed by Ivory as if she was faking an injury. Then a few days later, after a visit to the doctors office, it turned out that she had sprained both ankles and tore ligaments in her foot. Tasha was excused from participating in the practices with a doctors' note and she wore a big black boot on one foot. While she was out injured, I continued on with my "beginners classes" every day after regular class, even though my neck pain was getting worse and worse as each day passed. Finally Tasha convinced me to go see a doctor. I, like a lot of people, felt pressured to not disclose that I was injured for fear of getting in trouble. I was scared to get fired. I was also fearful that they would ridicule me and treat me as if I were faking an injury after what I had seen happen with Tasha. I finally gave in because I was in way too much pain and the neck is not something to fool around with. The doctor excused me from practice too and Tasha and I were on the sidelines. Melina had a minor injury to her shoulder, however she played it off and practiced anyway. I think she finally saw the doctor too and took a few days off but went right back to it as if nothing were wrong even though I know that was not the case because I lived with her. That is what you are encouraged to do (regardless of how you feel) and I guess that is just the way it is. And I guess she did the right thing, after all, she still has a job and Tasha and I do not. All of us getting injured, along with Tank and a few others that I can't recall right now was causing the official WWE doctor to wonder what was going on over at OVW and they called WWE to inquire about our practices. That's when practice times got cut and Rip was fired. I can't prove that this was for sure the reason why, but I heard that it was.

I sat on the sidelines for a while at OVW, as did Tasha. Finally, Tasha was dealing with some personal family issues at home and decided that she could not be away any longer. Personally, I think she decided that getting treated like crap on a daily basis was not for her and she bailed. Whatever the reason was, I think it took WWE by surprise. They flew her out to Texas for a show and there was talks of bringing her up. Then a week later she was released. I stayed and stuck it out but part of me wishes I had left when she did. I was told by some of the other wrestlers that I should get back in the ring and not let too much time pass or they would fire me. One of the wrestlers said that he would "hook me up with all the pain killers that I needed" so that I could make it through training and get on tv. I decided not to go this route even though I really wanted to get back in the ring. I was working hard, studying tapes in my free time, and watching all the practices. I was getting antsy because I wanted to try out all of the stuff I was learning. However, I knew that there was no way that I would have been able to get back in there and start bumping. I could have done it if I wanted to be a parapalegic for the rest of my life but that would not be my idea of fun. I made a decision that I would listen to my body and the doctors and if they fired me, they fired me. Oh well... big deal. What's the worst that could happen. I go back to my house in California and spend time with the people that love and care about me. Yeah, it was my dream and all to wrestle... but spending the rest of my life in a wheelchair was not a part of that dream. You have to weigh if the risk is worth the reward. So I waited. And sure enough, they were right, shortly after my third cortisone shot, I was released. And now, I'm almost sure that I need surgery. I have one more test to go to find out for sure but I am in a lot of pain every day and that's a full time job in itself I tell ya! I just wish I had known more of what I was getting myself into in the first place. I'll give the experience some credit... I definitely learned a lot out there!

More to come...

XoXoX,
Bobbi B.
http://www.BobbiBillard.com

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