Thursday, October 30, 2003

I fucking hate chain letters!! If you do too, click here...

Hello my name is [Insert Your Name Here],
and I suffer from the guilt of not forwarding 50 billion
fucking chain letters sent to me by people who actually
believe that if you send them on, a poor 6-year-old girl
in Arkansas with a breast on her forehead will be able
to raise enough money to have it removed before her
redneck parents sell her to a traveling freak show.

Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to
give you, and everyone to whom you send "his" email,
$1000? How stupid are we?

"Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and
make a wish, I'll get laid by every good looking model
in the magazine!" What a bunch of bullshit!!!!

Basically, this message is a big FUCK YOU to all the
people out there who have nothing better to do than to
send me stupid chain mail forwards!

Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into
my house and sodomize me in my sleep for not
continuing a chain that was started by Peter in 5 AD
and brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the
Mayflower. Fuck them!

If you're going to forward something, at least send me
something mildly amusing. I've seen all the "send this
to 10 of your closest friends, and this poor, wretched
excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel
from some omniscient being" forwards about 90 times.

Show a little intelligence and think about what you're
actually contributing to by sending out these
forwards. Chances are, it's your own unpopularity.
The point being? If you get some chain letter that's
threatening to leave you shagless or luckless for the
rest of your life, delete it.

If it's funny, send it on. Don't piss people off by
making them feel guilty about a leper in Botswana with
no teeth who has been tied to a dead elephant for 27
years and whose only salvation is the 5 cents per
letter he'll receive if you forward this email.

Now forward this to everyone you know. Otherwise,
tomorrow morning your underwear will turn carnivorous.

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