"How could two people as beautiful as you have such an ugly baby?"
"I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. After
having met you, I've changed my mind."
"I must admit, you brought religion into my life. I never believed in
Hell 'till I met you."
"Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help but
wonder. What the fuck was I thinking?"
"As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am that you're not here to
ruin it for me."
"If I get only one thing for Christmas, I hope it's your sister."
"As you grow older, Mum, I think of all the gifts you've given me. Like
the need for therapy."
"Thanks for being part of my life!!! I never knew what evil was before
"Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go, would you like to
take this knife out of my back? You'll probably need it again."
"Some day I hope to get married, but not to you."
"Sorry things didn't work out, but I can't handle guys with boobs that
are bigger than mine."
"Happy Birthday! You look great for your age.... almost lifelike!!"
"When we were together, you always said you'd die for me. Now that we've
broken up, I think it's time you kept your promise!"
"I knew that day would come when you would leave me for my best friend.
So here's his leash, water bowl, and chew toys."
"We have been friends for a very long time, what do you say we call it quits."
"I'm so miserable without you, it's almost like you're still here."
"Congratulations on your new bundle of joy!! Did you ever find out who
the father was?"
"You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship and there
was only one life jacket. I'd miss you heaps and think of you often."
"Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your
birthday. So... we're having you put to sleep."
"Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!!!" (Available only in Arkansas)
I've been working on my girlfriend Celeste's website. You can check it out by visiting: http://www.celestemarie.com.
As for me, I am dealing I guess. My back/neck is re-injured so I've been taking it easy and trying to get better so that I can get back in the gym. Well... I'm off to rest now. Until next time...